This episode was...ok. Definitely not one of the highlights of the season so far, for me anyways. I was just expecting much, much more, and the episode, sadly, did not deliver. I'm gonna start with the not so great things, and then describe what I liked, thus ending on a positive note, which I think is more pleasant for all involved.
Less than awesome things:
1. Georgina "Georgie" Sparks. Yes, the mysterious 'G' - that left Serena all those notes and 'presents', and whose upcoming arrival rather worryingly seemed to have left Chuck a tad spooked at the end of the previous episode - is revealed. Let me begin by saying that I am not a fan of Michelle Trachtenberg as an actress. However, I felt she did a pretty decent job as Georgina. My problem? I just wasn't scared or intimidated by Georgina and I think it may have been due to the script more than Trachtenberg. She does do some 'disagreeable' things during the course of the episode; for example she spikes Serena's soda knowing full well that Serena's sitting her SATs the next day, and at the end of the episode 'happens upon' a newly broken-hearted Dan under pseudonym of Sarah. (Sorry, just to make it clear it's Georgina who's going under the guise of Sarah, not Dan.) And judging by the look on G's face, I don't think she's planning on taking Dan to Starbucks where they can discuss Wittgenstein over a cup of coffee.
Also G has a drug dealer on speed dial and they're on first name terms. Add to this the constant references to her alcoholism, drug-taking, hardcore partying and general bad behaviour and it seems that G is pretty badass - except that she's not, which is the crux of the problem. Plus, before G 'stumbles upon' Dan there is a confrontation scene between Serena and G where it is revealed that G in fact has something on Serena. Something that could get both of them in very, very serious trouble indeed. There has been much discussion about what this could possibly be with some suggesting that they were involved with a drug-induced death, whilst others say that perhaps Serena was involved in the making of a sex tape. I don't think the latter is correct because *caution; possible spoiler ahead* apparently G uses what she has on Serena in order to co-erce her into making a sex-tape in one of the upcoming episodes. Is this true? Only time will tell I'm afraid. Until then I encourage patience and restraint.
2. Jenny & Asher 'the dog walker'. Don't get me wrong I thought Asher was sweet and all, but I just didn't find him hot in any way. Also, did he remind anyone else of Perez Hilton? But, my real problem is Jenny, again. She's just so rude to Rufus, and he's so hot, which makes her rudeness and disobedience even worse, intolerable even. At one point she's complains about not wanting her friends to see her with Rufus. If he was my dad I'd go everywhere with him because I'd fancy...well I guess I wouldn't if he was my dad cos that kind of thing is wrong, but he's not so I guess it's ok. I'll move on...
3. Serena. I like Serena, but for most of this episode I thought she acted like a class A moron. I shall explain myself. Whenever she saw Dan instead of acting cool and collected, she was all shifty and agitated, not to mention unbelievably suspicious. The only way she could conceivably have looked even more suspicious was if she wore a grey trench coat with matching hat and black sunglasses, carrying a big, black briefcase and sat down next to guys at Central Park asking them in a Russian accent, "Are you GreySquirrel. I have the information. Do you have the code word?". Half the time she couldn't even think of an excuse/lie for Dan, and when she did she should've just kept her mouth shut. Which leads me neatly onto my next point. Throughout the episode Chuck covers for Serena - more than once I would like to add - which he doesn't really have any obligation to do, after all she got him thrown out of the Bass-van der Woodsen household for something he didn't do because of her incessant whining and the fact that she needs to lighten up. Furthermore, Chuck carries out a background check on G for Serena, and pays a girl to sit the SATs in Serena's place when Serena neglects to turn up. And what does he get in return? You would expect a simple 'thankyou' or maybe a kiss on the cheek. But no, instead he gets a tutting and ungrateful Serena. E.g.:
"Serena: Chuck what did you do? I told you to keep the doors open, when I got there they were closed.
Chuck: Yeah. They don't keep the doors open. I was thinking on my feet, just trying to help.
Serena rolls her eyes and turns away from Chuck."
I mean how effing ungrateful. Chuck has quite possibly saved her chances of getting into a prestigious University, all be it by getting another girl to sit her SATs for her, and this is how Serena reacts? S is just asking for me to start hating her.
4.
WHERE THE HELL WAS WALDASS? We've all seen the picture from the promos, and in this episode they were wearing the outfits as shown:
But where was the long awaited Waldass action? Or Waldass-tion - note to self; never use again, sounds dodgy. I miss it so much. Some people have suggested that the image was released simply as a publicity stunt because the producers of Gossip Girl are fully aware of the fact that Chuck and Blair are by far the most popular couple on the show and bring in the ratings. For example, Victor/Victrola was the episode with the highest ratings by far, and the others which featured Waldass action complete the list of other episodes with ratings abnormally high for Gossip Girl. Add to this the fact that the limo scene at the end of Victor/Victrola was on the top 10 most watched videos on youtube for weeks after the airing of the episode, and the power of Waldass is clear. However, if this were in fact simply a cheap publicity stunt then, so help me God, I will track down Josh Schwartz and strangle him with my scarf until he orders a rewrite. And I don't care if they've already filmed the rest of the season's episodes, they can damned well film them again. You can't just mess with people's minds like this Josh, it's not fair and I'm pretty sure there's a clause in the International Statute of Human Rights which states as much. Shame on all of you 'powers that be' at CWTV and Gossip Girl inc. Shame on you...
The awesome things:
1. Nelly Yuki. The name just cracks me up. I can't explain it, it's just so funny, not to mention outrageously East Asian. But who the hell is Nelly Yuki? She's Blair's biggest competition vis. getting into Yale, and Blair is not happy, especially with the SATs coming up. Thus, Blair recruits her bitch brigade with the aim of Nelly Yuki's complete mental annihilation, and in return for their support and help the BB girls receive a trip to the spa, massages, tutors, facials...etc all courtesy of the Waldorf estate. Poor Nelly Yuki, she's the archetypal Asian nerd. And what made the whole Nelly Yuki thing more awesome for me was that at my first lecture of the morning - neuro - I realised that there was in fact a 'Nelly Yuki' in the lecture theatre, complete with over sized spectacles. Truly awesome.
2. Duck = Dan and Chuck. Doesn't work? How about Chan? No, we don't want people mistaking Chan for Nelly Yuki's brother now do we? I shall have to think about this one. But my point is this: I am starting to love the whole Dan and Chuck dynamic. Here's the thing, I think Chuck has a twisted kind of respect for Dan, perhaps cos Dan's so unlike him, or because he realises Dan's clever, or perhaps because Bart Bass started off in a similar position to Dan, i.e. not loaded. I don't know. I may be completely wrong. I'm probably just reading way too far into it. I also think that although Dan has Chuck firmly placed in the 'effer' category, he also realises just how clever Chuck is. I think Chuck really is clever and witty, and I bet if he actually studied at school he would do pretty well. But instead Chuck chooses to use his talents for evil, mischief, manipulation and scheming - and that's why I love him. Their relationship is just so interesting and this whole scene made me laugh at loud, but please note that to truly appreciate its awesomeness you have to watch the scene:
"Dan answers the phone expecting it to be Serena calling.
Dan: Hey, I've been wondering where you were.
Chuck: You mean all of your life? (Haha)
Dan is surprised that it’s Chuck calling.
Dan: Er…uh. Don’t take this the wrong way Serena, but you sound just like this jackass we know.
Chuck: Serena has food poisoning. She’s too sick to come to your play date.
Dan: Put her on the phone.
Chuck: The bathroom doesn’t have reception.
Dan: So, now I don’t believe you.
Chuck: And I’d like to say I’m a little glad about that, but my poor sick sister has asked for my assistance in the matter, so I’ll leave it at this. She’s not coming. Don’t try calling. Humphrey, always a pleasure."
Classic.
3. Nate & Vanessa. Don't worry I'm not going to come up with another lame attempt to merge their names into one. My attempts so far have been less than successful, as you have all witnessed. Previously I stated that I was much pleased with the concept of Vanessa and Nate getting together - I thought that, as a result, I would like both characters much more. And I'm glad to report that, as per usual, I was 100% correct. Nate was hot and likeable, and everytime Vanessa was on the screen I didn't find myself having to control my evil right hand as it strove to scratch my eyes out. Just one suggestion for Nate though; I know you and Blair were together for-like-ever, so you've been out of the dating game for quite a while. But don't worry I'm here to help you. Tip#1: Where you take a girl on a date is very important. Now-a-days dating isn't about sending your girlfriend in to sit a SATs test. I know. The dating game is fickle, but so is love, Nathaniel.
4. Waldass? Look, I know I already said there was no Waldass action - and there wasn't - but there was a 'moment' between the two of them, and Goddamn you could feel the sexual tension. And I liked it. More please.:
Mmmmm...sexual.
5.
Charles Bass. As soon as the episode opened with the whole spiel on revision and exams I immediately wondered what Chuck was gonna do. He just doesn't seem the revising or stressing type. And I wasn't disappointed. In true Chuck style he cheated and got someone else to sit the exams for him, complete with fake identity. Who sat the test for him? This guy:
And for some reason the fact that it's a black guy, complete with grin, pretending to be THE Chuck Bass made it hilarious for me. It's probably something to do with Chuck being the epitome of the white, rich, spoilt, urban dandy. I don't know. But what I do know is that things could appear to become racist if I keep writing. I'd just liked to clarify that I am not a racist, myself being of mixed ethnicity.
6. Serena-gate. I loved how at the end of the episode Chuck surmises, correctly, that G has something on S. He can read people. You know who else can read people? Blair. For example, she almost immediately realises that that the mayhem at the Debutante Ball in episode 10 (Hi! Society) is due to Chuck's scheming, and realises when Chuck has developed a bit of a crush on her. Yet another reason why Blair and Chuck NEED TO GET TOGETHER.
7. Penn Badgley. Just a quick note to say I was very impressed by Penn's acting in his last scene with Serena. Give yourself a pat on the back Penn. Bravo. If you keep it up like this you might make it onto my best GG actors list, and you know you want to. xoxo.
Random GG stuff:
1. Yes, you guessed it. It's the round-up of Chuck's outfits from the episode. Having perused a few discussion boards I couldn't help but notice that a minority of people are suggesting that Chuck's outfits are becoming increasingly too outrageous, bold and bright. What is wrong with you people? HE'S CHUCK BASS - his outfits reflect his character, and if you don't get that...look I don't want to become abusive so I'll stop. Just look and admire:
The future's bright, the future's incredibly...
Apparently there are dress rehearsals for a production of 'The Nutcracker' on the Upper East Side. And guess who's starring as the lead...
The colour palette for this outfit appears to have come straight from the Teletubbies. I love it. Chuck looks like he's off to the PGA tour; the homosexual edition of course:
Chuck goes casual, and I go weak at the knees. He looks super-hot, and please note that there's his usual touch of pink, and his top matches his socks. His colour coordination skills astound me. I honestly think I'm in love:
2. Maybe this point should have been made in the 1st section of this review. But something about the post-writer's strike Gossip Girl feels different to the pre-strike GG - and I'm not sure if I like it. Nor am I sure as to exactly what it is that has changed. I can't seem to put my finger on it. But first a few notable differences that I have picked up on. The emphasis on the group as a whole has shifted. The show has always consisted of an ensemble cast, but certain characters, i.e. Serena, Dan, Blair...etc, got far more screen time than the others. But now the relative screen times seem to have 'balanced out' to a certain extent. Furthermore, characters that were fairly minor before, have become integral to many of the storylines, the best example being Blair's minions. Another observation is that a large proportion of the scenes now arise at St Jude's/Constance Billard school. As for the other stuff that has changed; don't worry I'm on the case.
3. The Tv ratings for GG have never been great. Does this mean people don't watch the show? No. Lots of people watch the show, but they choose to watch it online - which of course doesn't count Nielsen ratings-wise. A lot of these people download it from itunes, where it is frequently at the no.1 most downloaded spot. Others download it illegally, but I think most of these people are not from the US. Add to this the CW's decisions to change the night that GG is on and to stop streaming on their website - in my opinion a v. naive move, but no-one at CW seems to be able to understand how to market the show on the internet - and now the ratings appear to be on the slide. Although the executives at CW and producers of the show have defended the show's low ratings explaining that a new ratings system is required that takes into account the influence of the internet, my fears have not been allayed, and I believe the decline of ratings is dangerous for the show. And yes, I am slightly worried.
4. I have noticed since being back at Uni that others of my age - that I know would genuinely enjoy the show - do not watch GG, nor do they ever wish to. As described in my first entry on this blog, I too was not interested and the only reason I began was because I caught an episode without fully realising what I was watching. Here are the problems; when you try to describe GG it sounds crap, even to me, and the title 'Gossip Girl' makes it sound like a programme for pre-pubescent girls. I don't really know what could have been done about this as the series is based on the 'Gossip Girl' books. However, what I do know is that people well above the age of 18 (18-50) watch the show, and yet the show seems to be marketed to those under the age of 18, and as I've said before, I'm not sure if anyone under the age of 16 should really watch GG. I just think that for all of GG's publicity, the reason it doesn't entice more people is because it is marketed to completely the wrong...market.
5. Please, someone tell me where I can purchase the Bass cardigan. I've been looking all week without success. I realise that my surname is Murray and not Bass, but what am I supposed to wear on my cardi? A mint? Here's a quick reminder of what the cardi covered in bass, as worn by Chuck BASS, looked like:
Wow. It's still got it.
6. Time for episode 15's awesome Chuck quotes:
"After Blair walks past glaring at Chuck.
She really needs to tone down on the social niceties. It's embarrassing."
"After Chuck tells Serena that according to his 'reliable' sources Georgina's not coming to town after all.
Now you can enjoy the gifts she mailed you with peace of mind and maybe...Chuck in the room."
"The offer still stands. I know a lovely little redhead that's just dying to be you for the day."
"Serena: I’m so stupid. So, so, so stupid.
Chuck: You don’t sound stupid, you sound drunk. What have you been into?
Serena: Georgina. Good news is she doesn’t want anything except to party. Bad news is, I partied.
Chuck: Care to paint a picture? Does this party require clothes?”
“Serena: Can you help me?
Chuck: Say you need me. Serena: Chuck!
Chuck: Hearing you scream my name is more than enough. I’ll take care of you and pick you up in ten.”
“Beautiful day you’re ruining, isn’t it?”
“Serena: Chuck you went too far.
Chuck: And so did you sis. Look I feel…foolish admitting it, but obviously I’ve come late to this party.
Serena: English, please.
Chuck: What’s Georgina got on you?
Serena: Chuck.
Chuck: Dan I understand. But what’s so bad you can’t even tell me?”
And I think I'll leave it there.
xoxo
PS: I think you've got the idea now.
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