Practice What I Preach

Gossip Girl Episode 17 "Woman On The Verge" - A Review - by F

2008-05-18T03:37:00.000-07:00

This episode was…disappointing. Key word for this review: inconsistent. It’s exactly the same thing as we saw with episodes 14 (The Blair Bitch Project) and 15 (Desperately Seeking Serena), where there was a great cliff-hanger ending, but the next episode just didn’t follow through as well as it should have – there are few things worse than a GG let-down. Here we had the well-executed “I killed someone” confession from Serena at the end of episode 16 (All About My Brother), but this episode we found out that she didn’t really kill anyone at all. As I correctly hypothesised in my previous post, the guy on the ‘sex-tape’ OD-ed on some coke; you’d think that I’d get bored with being right all the time. But…you’d be wrong. So how was Serena involved in the guy’s death? She suggested that perhaps instead of them ‘getting it on’ he should have a line or two of coke, which he did. However, why the hell would Serena blame herself for his death? Especially as we find out that the drugs were his and he was a long-time addict. He would have just taken them himself anyways. Plus, whilst G fled the scene, S stayed and called 911. Serena didn’t even participate in the making of the sex-tape. It’s just a lame-ass cop-out by lazy, inconsistent writers, and the ending of ‘Desperately Seeking Serena’ seems to have been concocted simply for shock value, and probably ratings. After last week’s episode I said my confidence in the GG writer’s was back to its usual high level. But after this week’s episode I’m afraid my relationship with the GG writers is back to square one. Why must they insist on making me look like such an inconsistent boob on my own blog?

Also on a lot of blogs/discussion forums I have noticed that the turn of phrase ‘made of win’ or simply ‘win’ is becoming more and more common. And in light of this, I shall myself begin using these – I’m trendy and ‘with it’.

I need some cheering up, so I’m gonna start with the good stuff.

The ‘Good-stuff’:

1. Chuck! Oh Chuck, how I’ve missed you! This episode he looked irritated throughout, with his eyes even more squinty than usual, and his voice even lower and snarlier. He did, however, have some of the best quotes of the episode – as per usual – and was just generally awesome. One thing we find out is that he lost his virginity to Georgina in 6th grade. And what does he have say about her? It’s definitely not that she was attentive, gentle and tender: “I’ve been avoiding her ever since, the bitch is a psycho.” Which I think prompts the following questions; what exactly did she do to Chuck when it was his first time landing his Martian probe on Venus? And, is this why Chuck is so effed up when it comes to sex? Speaking of sex, how awesome was the constant ‘eye sex’ between Blair and Chuck – finally some Waldass action that I can use to get excited sexually. Others use porn, I use this. I like to think of it as the thinking man/woman’s porn. I also like to think that scheming for them is like foreplay, sexy, sexy foreplay. I’m not ashamed to admit that I would like to join them for a session. Or would I? Maybe a third person would ruin the dynamic. Yes, I think it would be better if I just sat and watched as they…schemed. More on this later.

Also, hands up if you totally loved how Chuck just stood and watched as Blair undressed a hung-over and distressed Serena. I don’t understand how he gets away with being such an outrageous perv, but he does, and he does it in smouldering style. In fact here’s the scene with pictures, for your viewing pleasure:

"Chuck watches Blair undress Serena like a Class A perv. Nate realises this and closes the door, all the while glaring at Chuck.
Chuck: Just like old times.
Nate: Y’know why do I get the feeling you’re actually enjoying this?
We hear Serena hurling.
Chuck: Call me sentimental."

Ahhhh, he’s a sentimental perv. That’s nice.

Another awesome bit was when S told Dan she had cheated on him. On my second viewing of the episode I noticed Chuck’s facial expressions, which are absolutely hilarious and I think give some light relief to an otherwise heavy scene. I believe the pictures speak for themselves:

I’m also starting to think there’s a lot of sexual tension between Chuck and Dan. Dan’s clearly hot for Chuck. Who wouldn’t be? He’s always making these intense eyes at Chuck, which, at the start of the series, I thought were due to the whole Chuck trying to rape Jenny deal. But now I’m pretty much certain it’s more than that. I’m guessing that maybe Schwartz-y will resort to making use of this ‘tension’ when he begins to run low on ‘shocking’ new twists. When is this gonna happen? I’m putting money on the second half of season 2. Here’s an awesome Dan/Chuck scene, and please note how smexy Chuck looks as he glares back at Dan:

"Dan: Her bed hasn’t been slept in.
Chuck: Well I knew housekeeping was hiring, but I had no idea their standards were so low.
Dan: I hate that I have to ask you this, but have you seen Serena?
Chuck: Oh, I’ve seen lots of Serena.
Dan looks slightly worried, and Chuck’s phone rings. Chuck answers, and it’s Blair.
Chuck: Are you drunk dialling again? No. Serena didn’t come home last night. Thought she was with you.
Dan follows Chuck. Chuck stops at the door, glares at Dan, and then closes the door in Dan’s face."

On a final Chuck note, how classy was he discreetly handing Lily the address at the rehearsal dinner and then helping her put her jacket on. Chuck’s a pretty classy guy. Also, I love how Lily calls him Charles. Yes, Charles is a pretty classy guy.

2. Dorota. I just think she’s awesome and wanted to give her a quick shout out. Yes she grassed up Serena, but she really does seem to care. One day I hope I’ll be able to have a Dorota all of my own. Except I'll call her Jeeves, oh and she'll be a monkey.

3. Vanessa. I felt that Vanessa redeemed herself somewhat when standing up to Georgina. However, I did not appreciate her rudeness to Blair and Chuck: “Some date we’ve got here. You even brought your friends…the ones I can’t stand.” Shut up V, if it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t be able to pay the rent, remember? How easily the poor like to forget.

4. X-men: The Upper East Side Edition. I thought it was awesome how Blair, Nate, and even Chuck banded together, despite their differences, to deal with a ‘fallen’ Serena. I mean I’m not really sure why Nate was invited along - he’s hardly a nefarious mastermind - but I’m guessing it was to add to the prettiness. And who am I to complain? As for Blair and Chuck, they’re like Jean Grey and Wolverine aka MADE OF WIN. Awesome UES X-men, part one:

"Dan: Don’t all of you hate each other?
In perfect unison: Blair: Yes. Chuck: No. Nate: Absolutely."

And then they all team up against Dan and use their super powers to block him from seeing Serena:

And if you've watched this scene, I hope that you too noticed that Blair was about to touch Chuck, but moved her hand away at the last moment. Nice touch Leighton, nice touch. Awesome UES X-men, part two:

"Nate: She’s right Serena, I mean none of us are saints.
Blair: Yeah, I had sex with him (Blair gestures at Chuck) in the back of a limo.
Chuck: Several times.
Nate: I had sex with you (looks at Serena) at a wedding when I was her (looks at Blair) date. (Looks at Chuck) Once.
Blair also looks at Chuck as if awaiting some kind of explanation for his behaviour.
Chuck: I’m Chuck Bass."

Damn straight you are, damn straight. I just love how the whole scene builds up to those 3 simple words, I'm Chuck Bass. WIN x100000000.

Later on there is some of the aforementioned Waldass 'eye-sex':

"Chuck: What’s gotten into you?
Blair: What if I told you I knew where Georgina Sparks was right now?
Chuck: I’d say let’s get the bitch.
Gossip Girl: Spotted Blair and Chuck reunited to defend Serena’s honour. With friends like these, who needs armies?"

Right on Gossip Girl, right on. It really does seem a little wrong how turned on I am after looking at these pictures - I'll be sure to mention it to my therapist. I also love this scene, especially Serena's little smile to show that she knows exactly why Blair is there:

"Blair: (to Vanessa) Where’s Georgina?
Nate: What are you gonna do? You heard what Serena said.
Chuck: Yeah, like we care.
Vanessa: Georgina left.
Blair: Left for where?
Vanessa: I dunno, she just took off. If I could only find Dan, he’s around here somewhere.
Nate: Well let’s got look for him, alone.
Awkward Waldass moment.
Serena and Blair: Hey what are you doing here?
Blair: (stutters) I’m a big leaky hawk fan.
Serena smiles knowingly.
Serena: I’m looking for Dan and Georgina.
Chuck: You’re out of luck, Georgina’s gone.
Serena: And Dan?
Chuck: I’m out of luck, he’s still around."

Win, win, win.

5. Well done Rufus, well done. Rufus, I applaud thee. You pleased me in this episode, and not just ‘down there’. No, Rufus you finally said that special ‘something’ to Dan, something that I’ve been waiting for someone to inform Dan of since I began watching the series:

“And I don’t know if you know this, but you can be a pretty judgmental guy.”

Give yourself a pat on the back Rufus, from me…and with love. Although, Rufus - and I don’t mean to sound pernickety - but I think that perhaps you should’ve substituted the word ‘pretty’ for ‘annoyingly’ or ‘irritatingly’ or ‘exasperatingly’ or perhaps ‘tiresomely’. Just a suggestion, I’m here to help.

6. Nanessa? Vate? They didn’t really have much of a role to play in this episode, but I still thought they were kinda sweet together. Nate seems to put up with Vanessa’s attitude problem with good humour, and Vanessa seems pleased by Nate and his prettiness – who wouldn’t be? And I like them together, I really do. However, I’m starting to see them as being more like friends, and can’t really imagine them ‘doing’ anything together, if you understand my meaning. This is a problem for me, but we’ll see how it goes in the season finale.

7. Lufus? Rily? I thought the bit where Lily was interviewed was sweet, although the interviewer was rather intrusive and rude, and looked like an alien. But ET did manage to get Lily to admit that she wasn’t in love with him (aka Rufus)… that much. Translation: I was madly, deeply in love with him, and still am. Also as horrendously tacky the whole Rufus singing to Lily and then running after her scene was I found it enjoyable, and the smooch at the end was the sweet, sweet red cherry on top. In the words of the great Quagmire: diggity-diggity.

8. Jenny-less. This episode had no Jenny and this pleased me. I have enjoyed Jenny's storylines, but it was nice to have a break and focus a bit more on the other characters.

The 'Bad-stuff':

1. One angry mofo: Nate. Throughout the episode Nate is cross with Blair, and in particular Chuck, and I’m struggling to understand why. I mean when it comes to Blair he really doesn’t have any reason to be mad at her, after all Blair slept with Chuck after she had broken up with Nate. Yes, she did fake her virginity for Nate, but Nate’s hardly been the perfect gentleman what with the sleeping with Serena whilst he was with Blair, and then using Blair for his own family’s benefit, amongst a multitude of other sins. So I really don’t get Nate’s beef with Blair. I understand the angry glances towards Chuck a little better I guess; Chuck did manipulate and lie to Nate for his own selfish reasons. But once again, Chuck never slept with Blair when she and Nate were still going out, and what Nate did with Serena was really far worse. Nate just needs to chillax and stop being so effing angst-y.

2. Serena=about as useful as Lynn Spears’ parenting book. I know I keep complaining about Serena’s behaviour, but I would like to reinforce the fact that I honestly do quite like her. However…Serena is one of the most incapable human beings on earth…ever. I’m surprised she’s able to dress herself in the morning without having some kind of nervous breakdown and then calling Chuck to keep her calm whilst a maid helps her out. She really doesn’t appear to be able to deal with anything on her own. Thank God she has friends like Blair, Nate and Chuck who will always stand by her. Hang on, why exactly are they standing by her? S has basically deserted B for the past few episodes, even though she promised B that if she remained in New York instead of going to France she would be there for her. As for Nate, he and Serena don’t seem to have much contact. And then there’s Chuck. It seems the more helpful and supportive he is, the ruder Serena is to him. I think that’s part of the reason Chuck’s so peeved for most of this episode, plus S’s constant lack of gumption and inability to handle things are starting to grate on him. As they would anybody.

But back to Serena. When confronted by Dan about the events of the prior night Serena admits that she cheated on Dan. Except that she didn’t. She then justifies this lie to Blair, Nate and Chuck by saying that she thought that it would be better if Dan thought she had cheated on him than to know what she really did. Serena, Serena, Serena, dear, stupid Serena. Repeat after me: I am a moron, I did not kill anyone, and from now on I will not confess to cheating on someone, unless I have actually cheated on them. I just don't understand her logic at all, and I'm starting to think that she may just be plain dumb. And I don't like dumb characters, they annoy me. Unless it's like Joey, where pretty much all the jokes are based around his low IQ and insatiable sex drive.

3. Lily. As much as I loved Lily this episode I didn’t get why she accused Blair of being one of the reasons that she was going to send Serena away. It made me angry, mainly cos Blair’s so effing awesome and protective of Serena. Additionally, the bit where Lily takes Serena to the home of the guy who overdosed (Pete) so that S can have a talk with his parents seemed extremely rushed and awkward. In fact, the pacing of this whole episode seemed rushed. Bad, bad writing. Naughty, naughty writers.

4. Dan, you moron. You stupid, stupid moron. Dan falls for G's obviously made-up story about why people keep shouting Georgina at her. In fact, let's just recap her story and see whether I'm maybe being a bit too harsh on Dan. Here goes: you see with her ex-boyfriend, things got a bit out of control. Her car was broken into, a week later her room was trashed. Understandably she got a little scared, moved in with a friend, changed all her numbers, and yet he still tracked her down. That pesky, pesky, deranged ex-boyfriend. So, there was only one thing left to do, because for some reason she couldn’t just call the police. No desperate times call for extreme measures, so poor old G had to leave town and change her name to Sarah.

Oh yep, yep that makes sense, and is a totally reasonable and believable explanation. The police wouldn't have been able to deal with a problem like this, they're probably just as incapable in life as Serena. One love-crazed teenager is just too much for them. Dear God Dan, wake up and smell the sociopath! Game, set and match.

The 'Random-stuff':

1. Now for some more Chuck quotes:

When Nate and Chuck arrive at Blair's without any understanding of why Blair's called them there:

"Maybe this is Blair’s idea of a perverse double date."

Chuck comes bearing gifts:
"So we have every hang over cure known to man. Plus bagels, which should help soak up the alcohol and whatever else she took."

Ok, so there are only 2 quotes that haven't been used in the rest of this review, um how abouts an awesome Blair one:

To Serena when they are trying to convince her to spill the beans:
"We're the non-judging breakfast club."

MADE OF WIN.

2. Chuck's outfits. Or should I say outfit? Chuck wears a tux, and we've all seen that before so really there's only one new outfit, and it's this one:
I love the touch of the red socks, and matching hat. In fact, the man looks like Rupert the bear minus the red top, and for comparison's sake:

3. Schwartzy: Call-me. The promoters of the show are always going on about how Gossip Girl is revolutionising how we are watching Tv. You know, it’s being downloaded from itunes, watched from streaming websites, illegally shared…etc. I’ve already discussed - in a previous post - their failure to market the show online, but now to another complaint – I’m an angry and abusive person. They apparently have not looked at any of the numerous fan sites or discussion forums dedicated to GG, which can be found on this amazing technological gateway called ‘The Internet’. Maybe the producers should become acquainted with it because if they had bothered to look they would know that:

1. Waldass is by far the most popular couple. Yet so far, post-writer’s strike, there has been negligible Waldass action.
2. In general, people want less screentime with Dan and Jenny, and more with Nate, Blair, Chuck…etc.
3. The new time slot for GG (Mondays @ 8pm) is not a good time spot for many fans of the show. As for those less loyal GG spectators, they’ll usually opt for ‘Greek’ which is on at the same time – you don’t need to be a genius to figure out changing the time slot & putting the show in competition with another uber-popular show is not gonna be good for ratings.
4. A lot of people miss being able to stream GG from the CWTV website. To stop this was not a clever move. Now, I’m not going to name any names (*cough*Dawn Ostroff*cough*) but CWTV needs to get a clue about...everything. What use is all the promotion if in the end no-one is able to watch it?

Look, it seems like the GG team is having some issues with the marketing, writing…etc of GG, and I’d only be too happy to help. I don’t mean to sound arrogant but you’d be getting one of the best talents in the industry – talent like mine doesn’t grow on trees; it’s coveted and rare. How rare is my talent? Even more rare than crotch shots of Lindsay Lohan where she’s wearing panties. Perhaps even more rare than snaps of a sober Amy Winehouse or Pete Doherty. That’s how rare my talent is, and in view of my analogies it’s clear to see that it’s something pretty special. All I ask in return for my services is a 6-figure salary and a night with Chace and Ed – and I’m not just talking about partying it up with them in New York. I think we can all agree that’s more than a fair deal.

4. Chuck Bass vs Ed Westwick. I love Chuck Bass, and I do my utmost to keep him separate from Ed Westwick. It’s not that I dislike Ed, he seems like an ok dude and is super-talented, it’s just that in my effed-up mind Chuck is basically real, and I’d like to keep it that way. Why? Because my mind is the one place where I’m never disappointed when it comes to fantasies. Also I have a problem with Ed. On GG I think Chuck looks pretty effing hot most of the time. There are moments where I’ll look at him and go, “What the eff just happened to Chuck’s face?” but on the whole I’m more like, “You can borrow my hand towels any time Chuck.” However, with Ed it’s different. The man has his unbelievably hot moments, i.e.:

I’d pay for that and sometimes I like to imagine that the reason for his facial expression in the second before last picture is because he's just seen me walk in, and is obviously blown away. Also, judging by the photo where Ed's holding up the T-shirt, we have a lot in common. But Ed also has these moments:

Yes, I realise I’ve just posted pictures of Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Depp, Monica Bellucci and Natalie Portman. Why? Because I wish to keep my blog aesthetically pleasing – and yes I am somewhat shallow. But if you would like to see some…well…fug pics of Ed I’m sure you can find them yourselves online. As the great Denny Crane once said, “I like pretty people.”

Let me assure you, I’m not saying I wouldn’t liked to be ‘Westwicked’ because he’s famous-ish, has sexy mannerisms, is in a pretty decent band, and is a damned good actor, but the fact that his hotness changes so much is crazy making and confusing. His looks are inconsistent and I simply can’t take it, the worst part being that I know he is in fact extremely good-looking. And I know I said I like to keep him and Chuck separate, but when he looks weird it somehow reflects badly on Chuck. Look I care about 3 things Reader-niel; money, the pleasures money brings me, and Chuck Bass (and you?). So when someone threatens my love and admiration for the latter I get angry. And you don’t want to see me when I’m angry. It involves me turning green, developing hugely oversized muscles and veins, and my eyes turning a reddish colour. Suffice to say, it’s not pretty.

PS: This 'win'/'made of win' thing just hasn't worked out for me, and to be honest, I'm not even sure if I'm using it the right way. I think, for now at least, I'm gonna have to call it a day when it comes to trendy new 'internet speak'.

Gossip Girl Episode 16 "All About My Brother" - A Review - by F

2008-05-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, here goes. There was no Chuck – all Dan and no Chuck, makes F an angry girl – and no Nate, but it was still an amazing episode. It almost made up for last week’s less than stellar episode, and I’m pleased to report that my confidence in the GG writers is back to its former, elevated level. I’m sorry I ever doubted you. What can I say? I’m a capricious soul. Let’s begin with the awesome stuff.

The awesome stuff:

1. S did what now? The ending was perfect. Serena confesses to Blair that she killed someone! It was a great cliff-hanger ending, much like the Limo scene from episode 7 (Victor/Victrola), and was equally well executed. Serena’s face looked pretty odd here which helped, and her voice was just perfect. But what really sent chills up my spine was the eerie music that kicked in at precisely the correct moment. Once again it was ‘The Kills’ as heard at the end of episode 14 (The Blair Bitch Project), but this time with ‘U R A Fever’. The moment was completely over-the-top and dramatic, just as Gossip Girl should be. What do I think about the whole Serena killing someone thing? Well, what I - and it appears most people on the discussion boards - think is that the dead dude is the guy in the sex-tape, and that he probably died from an drug overdose. The drugs were supplied either by S or G, and both of them were too high to call the ambulance in time. Serena’s a likeable main character so I doubt the writers and producers would have her be involved in ‘murder’, it’s probably more like manslaughter, or she killed the guy in self-defence. Maybe the guy isn’t even dead, and G knows this, but is still using his death as leverage against Serena.

2. Chuck. I’m fully aware of his physical absence during this episode, it’s probably why I didn’t have to take a cold shower afterwards paying special attention to…er…but even though he wasn’t present in body, he was definitely present in spirit. And I love omnipresent Chuck. He just seems so dependable, and yet still sexily dirty and dangerous. (How does he do it?) For example he calls Serena to check on how she is and how the whole Georgina thing is going. And then later when Eric is outed, the first person Eric calls is Chuck. Sweet, he’s a family man now. Serena is hurt that Eric called Chuck and didn’t wait to discuss things with her first:

“Serena: Wait. You called Chuck?
Eric: Yeah, I’ve been talking to him a lot lately. The guy’s got his faults, but he’s never judged me.”

Look, I’m not sure if I’m with Eric on the whole ‘Chuck has faults’ thing, cos I am of the opinion that Chuck is faultless - the perfect gentleman. But I am with him 100% on the whole ‘Chuck being non-judgemental’ thing. I mean Chuck’s a seen it all, done it all (literally) type of guy – much in the vein of Russell Brand. What could possibly faze Chuck? More to the point, what right could Chuck possibly have to be judgemental? It would be like Angelina suggesting to someone that they should lay off the adopting thing for a while, or maybe Hitler telling someone that they should give the Jews a break.

3. Georgie-S. She’s growing on me, and not like a fungus either. I honestly still don’t find her scary, but I am starting to think that maybe I don’t want her to be my new partying buddy. It’s just that she seems so needy. I mean having to blackmail people to be your friends? That’s just not my style. People literally pay to be seen with me I’m that awesome. Really. But let’s be serious for a second. Pretty clever move on G’s part ingratiating herself with Dan and Vanessa, and I enjoyed her toying with Serena. But did anyone else find themselves thinking, “Why the hell don’t you just tell Dan you know her, Serena?” There’s a point with every deception or lie where it’s better to just divulge it rather than continuing with the façade, and I think most would agree that it’s definitely reached that point with the whole Serena-Georgina/Sarah-Dan thing. Sure G has this ‘S killed someone’ deal in her arsenal, but G wasn’t innocent and was probably just as responsible – if not more so – than Serena. So even though Serena doesn’t want it all to come out, G most definitely doesn’t either. S just needs to be a little more, what’s the word? Manipulative.

4. The ‘outing’. No, Bart Bass does not decide to take the family on a picnic. Instead, Eric is outed by Georgina at the dinner table in front of a completely heretofore oblivious Serena and Lily. I thought that G’s tactics were particularly cruel, but I’m man enough to admit that it made me like her a little more, as a character anyways. I particularly like the bit were G says that she didn’t realise it was a big secret cos he was kissing Asher for all the world to see and added, “Well don’t look so embarrassed E. He is a HOT PIECE. Well done!” Lily’s reaction was perhaps not what one would like after revealing, or I guess having someone else reveal, that you are gay. G seems to revel in the mayhem and misery she’s just caused. I think she feeds on uncomfortable moments, and this also makes me like her more. What can I say? In the world of F, bad=awesome.

Back to Eric. I truly admired Eric during this episode. It takes someone pretty brave to turn up at a party - after you've been forcefully outed and your mother has basically just rejected an important part of who you are - and announce to some of the main players in the Upper East Side you are gay. I also thought that Lily's honesty to Eric later about her feelings on the gay issue was touching. It was pretty cute, and I think realistic, how she explained that it would take her some time to get used to. I mean even if you suspect your child is gay, I think it would probably still come as a shock to actually hear them say it.

5. Rufus & Lily. I love them together – not as much as Waldass of course – but they make a hot couple, and I was glad to see them interacting again. In fact, I didn’t realise how much I missed their storyline until I watched this episode. I wonder what’s gonna happen with Lily’s wedding on the horizon…

6. Eric=GG. I loved how the show poked fun at the Internet rumours, which have been running rife, that in fact Eric is GG. With this in mind I’m gonna start a rumour right here, right now with the hope that the ‘GG Internet cyborgs’ happen upon it and follow through. In one of the upcoming episodes both Nate and Chuck are naked, completely stark naked. Will they be naked together? I don’t know. All I do know is that they are definitely going to be fully exposed on our screens. Is it in episode 17? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see! Sadly no screencaps of this momentous event have been released yet. But I can guarantee that I will post them as soon as they become available, which - of course - they will.

7. Little J talking sense? After Jenny finds out that it was none other than her big brother Dan who tipped off GG about Asher kissing another guy, she says this:

“For once in your life could you just stop judging everyone? (Dan tries to interrupt with an ‘I’m not’) You think that you’re so different, and so good? Well guess what Dan, the minute you start sending tips to Gossip Girl you’re in the game with the rest of us.”

Could this be? Jenny saying something I actually agree with. I like Dan ‘I am holier than thou’ Humphrey, but he really does need to get off his high horse and deign to join us mere mortals down here. This just bolsters my Dan and Chuck being almost polar opposites theory (Mnemonic = DuckPOT). Dan = more judgemental than God himself. Chuck = less judgemental than…I’m not going to lie, I’m not actually sure what to put here. Suggestions are welcome.

8. Gossip Girl’s one-liners. I feel that these have been sadly lacking in the past few episodes, but in this episode she (or is it he?) seemed to be back on top form. Everyone loves a losing your virginity euphemism so:

“Breaking news: Asher Hornsby heard bragging that little J swiped her V-card at his register.”

Good one GG. Another corker:

“Don't worry Little J. The sun will come out tomorrow, even though your boyfriend did today."

Good times.

9. The end of little J vs B. I felt the scene where Jenny finally surrenders to Blair in person was strikingly poignant. Mainly because of Jenny’s realisation and acceptance that being part of the Upper East Side world and the ‘popular posse’ wasn’t what she wanted and that her attempts to become part of that whole sphere were making her a bad person, but it was also how Blair reacted. True, at first Blair was the victorious ‘Queen Bee’, but soon we began to see the other side of Blair who admitted to Jenny that, “You put up a good fight, for a freshman.” Then of course to bring things back to ‘Queen-Bee’ land she adds, “I hope you don’t expect a hug.” I love Blair; she’s deffo my fave out of the girls on the show. In fact, I thought Blair was even more awesome than normal during this episode. There was her usual contribution of bitchiness and scheming (i.e. stealing Asher’s phone), but there was also a good helping of caring and dependable Blair who didn’t immediately spill the beans on Eric because she cared for him, and who comforted a distraught Serena. You know which other character shares these dichotomies of personality? Chuck. I WANT WALDASS. Plus, Blair looked totally hot at Jenny and Asher’s party. Seriously, I mean man oh man. She looked amazing in that gorgeous dress, and her hair and face = super sexy. Yum.

10. References. I was amused by the Tom Cruise & Zac Efron references by Blair’s minions implying that they are both gay and that Katie Holmes and Vanessa Hudgens are simply acting as covers. Also loved the Eliot Spitzer comment from Lily where she suggests to the wedding planner that perhaps Spitzer should be seated as far away as possible from Serena. Sure, S has been involved in the making of a sex tape, but joining a prostitution ring would be taking Serena’s character too far, don’t cha think?

11. Wow, this episode was pretty weepy. Only now as I'm writing this do I realise that this episode had more than its fair share of weepy moments what with the public outing, Eric and Lily, Serena saying that she'll support Eric no matter what, Jenny and Blair...etc But now to discuss Rufus and Jenny. Rufus takes Jenny back after she's lost his trust and respect. Why? Because she still has his love. He'll be there for her no matter what, because he's her dad. There's always a place for her at the Humphrey scrabble game. Oh God, someone pass me the Kleenex....please. Rufus is pretty damned forgiving. If little J was my daughter I'd probably make her work for my forgiveness a bit more. I'd make her my slave for a month. Not like that, but housework stuff; washing the car, cleaning the flat, cooking, trimming my nose hair, ironing my underwear...etc

12. Blair's minions. I realise that half the time they're not strictly speaking Blair's minions, but I just don't know what to call them. My point, however, is the following; I like them. That is to say they make me laugh, especially Hazel with her odd face and comments such as, "It's kinda hard to party once the G-bomb has dropped." Just be thankful it wasn't the H-bomb Hazel.

13. Asher-bitch. I was so glad when it was finally revealed that Asher was gay and had been using Jenny as a cover all along. I knew there was something suspicious and weird about him - and I'm not just talking about his face. It was also revealed that Asher is a complete Bastardo (if I put it in italics and add an 'o' then it can't possibly be offensive). For example, when little J decides to confront Asher about the gay rumours he says this, "Do you think someone like me dates someone like you?". Asher then describes how J gives him a cover for his gayness, and he gives her status. But to be safe, maybe the two of them should quash those nasty gay rumours. And how does Asher propose to do this? He's gonna go around bragging about how he popped her cherry. Nice. Jenny - being the status-whore that she is - gladly goes along with it. However, I have a problem. As I stated earlier the badder the character, the more I like them. But with Asher this just isn't the case. Thus, I think it's only right that I correct myself. If the character is male, then he has to be bad, AND sexy, AND hot. An example? I don't know...um...Chuck I guess. Others: Angelus, Spike...etc.

The Not-so Awesome Stuff:

I’d just to like to say as an aside, that – apart from being Chuckless, and Nateless – the episode was pretty much perfect. However, just a few small things:

1. I love Nelly Yuki, but how is she suddenly part of Blair’s posse? I don’t understand.

2. When Asher shouted ‘Faggot!’ at Eric at the party I found myself descending into a giggling fit. It was pretty amusing, and I am unsure as to whether or not this was intentional. It seemed to ruin what was a genuinely moving moment as a brave Eric came out to the whole Upper East Side.

Random Stuff:

Alas, due to the lack of Chuck, there is no Chuck outfit rundown or Chuck quote section, but instead:

1. Apparently Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg) is gonna become a series regular. I don't think I like this idea. Yes, the character has grown on me somewhat, but I really would like more attention focused on characters such as Blair, Chuck, Nate, Serena...etc, instead of new ones.

2. Season 2 of Gossip Girl is now confirmed and will reportedly begin airing in fall 2008. Additionally, it will consist of 24 episodes to make up for the small 18 episode first season which was hit hard by the Writer's Strike, and the first few episodes are gonna be set in the Hamptons. Awesome.

3. The season finale poster:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Mind .... is .... melting .... from ....awesomeness....

I think I'm back. Just. TBC = to be continued, but maybe it's also a clever play on B and C being Blair and Chuck. What the T would stand for I have no idea...

4. Now for some previews and clips for the upcoming episodes. It looks like Blair, Nate and Chuck all have to work together to help Serena keep it together.

Clip 1. This one features Chuck with his trademark, "I'm Chuck Bass." This whole scene makes me laugh so much, I'm sooo... excited: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmLG0rvTz_Y

Clip 2. A continuation of the last clip, with a throw-back to Chuck watching as Nate and Serena get it on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKqiIqHBOrU

Clip 3. A great clip which exhibits the hilarity of Duck/Chan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1wgU-x7IEE

How effing smexy is Chuck as he looks back at Dan? Sigh.

5. Time for some more awesome quotes from the episode:

"Gossip Girl: This just in, Asher Hornsby has been spotted locking lips before class but not with his girlfriend. Looks like gentlemen don't prefer blondes, Little J, they prefer other gentlemen. Is this just another round of blanks fired between B and Little J? I'm tired of being the bearer of bad grudges. This is the last item that goes to press without proof."

"Serena: It's a snub from one party, B. Plus, what's the big deal, anyway? You don't even like Asher.
Blair: I didn't like last season's Louis Vuitton patchwork bag, either, but that doesn't mean I wanna see it all over town on Jenny Humphrey's arm.
Serena: Touche."

"Serena: What's wrong? You look stressed, even for you.
Dan: I'm still worried about Jenny.
Blair: You mean because she's self-obsessed, self-serving, self-centered, self ...
Dan: No, no. I wish it was about her, and her self, but it's more about... who she's with. I can't get through to her. I tried, and she just completely blew me off. And she dissed my pants.
Blair: Maybe I underestimated her."

"Penelope: Dating a gay guy is an honest mistake, but lying to your girlfriends about sex is unforgivable."

6. My best friend pointed out that the writers appear to have completely changed Chuck's character. She added: 'Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Protective Brother Chuck and Best Friend Chuck, and they've kept his nastiness really well, I just don't get how that fits in with the pilot episode.' And I think I have to agree with her. She also added: 'I mean, I love the idea of them being these four BFFs, but S and C didn't even seem to be friends in the pilot. And the whole rape thing? I mean, Chuck wouldn't rape Blair or Nate (well, maybe Nate), it seems odd. My pet theory is that they used to have casual sex and so it wasn't rape exactly, more like him just not getting New Serena.'

My thoughts are that part of the whole Chuck changing thing is simply character development. Also, the writers seem to have had no idea in what direction they were gonna take the character of Chuck with the pilot episode, so made him like the book Chuck. As the series progressed they realised that he was a great character, so have had to sweep Pilot!Chuck under the rug, so to speak. But as for the whole S and C thing I have to agree, and at first I thought it was a bit forced until I read the amazing Jacob's recaps (which can be found at the Television Without Pity website, the address for which I gave in my very first post) which seemed to put it all into perspective. Here are some of the most important and relevant sections from his latest recaps:

"Which is key to this whole episode, because the further S slips this week, the more she depends on Chuck. And I don't think it's that they're suddenly friends, I think it's more about the fact that before she left, Chuck was a huge part of her life and possibly the only person that could keep up with her, and the reason we haven't seen them together much before now is that she had drama and he had drama, and she and Blair have A stories every week basically, so when would they spend time together? But also that coming back, she made a concerted effort to avoid that part of her life, which meant avoiding Chuck and the associations he evokes. Which is even more interesting if you think about the last fourteen episodes and the ways they have interacted, because that means he had all of the Blair issues with her disappearance, plus the fact that he was too dirty for her to deal with when she came back sparkly and new. So now Chuck's resentment of Dan, which looked originally like Mean Rich Guy high school shit, has this extra flavor of Dan being a symptom of Serena's rejection of Chuck."

"So if you trace the whole story back to this point, and Chuck's new found obsession with family and being a man and being a good brother and wanting to connect with Serena, his shit last week and this week makes so much more sense. I think we assumed that Blair was implicated in Bad Serena behavior, but B has always been what she is: an anal-retentive control freak who wants to control the school and to excel in everything. The first time we saw her get truly drunk, she cashed in her V card. You know what I mean? I think we're going to find Bad Serena has less to do with Blair -- beyond covering for her ass, as we saw at Thanksgiving -- and more to do with G and Chuck and the things they would get up to. And then there's poor Blair and Nate sitting at home being beautiful nerds while Serena was out blowing shit up. I think the show avoided Bad Serena and the reasons for her leaving so well that we forgot there were questions, so I'm really interested in going back and filling in the blanks, and so far my favorite part of it is this whole thing where Chuck is a fixer and dependable in certain ways, and the only reason you don't automatically go to him is not just because of the raping possibility, but that depending on him is a habit. So once S feels herself slipping, Chuck is the only person she can possibly go to, because he understands that world, and he can be a friend to S whether she's Good or Bad, while the propaganda of Good Serena means -- until today -- he's the enemy. And I mean, if you've ever been Bad and tried to go Good, this whole bit between S and Chuck will make total sense."

"Anyway. Thanks to Bad Serena, "The new one has to break 2000 on her SATs. So if you could just go smarm elsewhere..." He giggles, and reminds her of his offer to send a "lovely little redhead" to be Serena van der Woodsen for the day, so she doesn't have to take the test herself. "Oh, I'll leave the cheating to you, Chuck." He takes off, and she stares, kind of wildly relieved, into space. So clearly Georgina is in the shadows, waiting to strike. I've said it before, but my favoritest thing about The O.C. was how you would see one side of somebody and they were a villain, and then before you knew it you'd see more sides of them, and be able to integrate it until they were just a person. Like, B was always scary, but in a high school popularity way. She'd never kill anybody or put drugs in their drinks or do actual real-life mean danger stuff. So now there's G, and a link back to Bad Serena that only Chuck really gets, and finds just as terrifying as she does, even if it's just on her behalf because he knows she'd break before he would, so he's more scared for her than he is of G, who plays with the same range of weapons he does. It's exciting."

I think his theories make sense. All credit, of course, goes to the genius that is Jacob. However, I would like to add that I kinda like the whole Chuck-Serena casual sex theory that my best friend postulated. And in some ways it seems to fit. For instance, when he tried to rape her she said, "No, no this is not happening right now" So maybe she was thinking, "But maybe later Chuck, for old times sake, and once I've had a chance to digest this delicious grilled cheese with truffle oil sandwich." But then again, maybe not. I guess I like anything that means C has got in more peoples panties. I'm gross like that.

You know you love me,

xoxo

PS: Is it just me or is Chuck looking even hotter now-a-days?

Gossip Girl Episode 15 "Desperately Seeking Serena" - A Review - by F

2008-04-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

This episode was...ok. Definitely not one of the highlights of the season so far, for me anyways. I was just expecting much, much more, and the episode, sadly, did not deliver. I'm gonna start with the not so great things, and then describe what I liked, thus ending on a positive note, which I think is more pleasant for all involved.

Less than awesome things:

1. Georgina "Georgie" Sparks. Yes, the mysterious 'G' - that left Serena all those notes and 'presents', and whose upcoming arrival rather worryingly seemed to have left Chuck a tad spooked at the end of the previous episode - is revealed. Let me begin by saying that I am not a fan of Michelle Trachtenberg as an actress. However, I felt she did a pretty decent job as Georgina. My problem? I just wasn't scared or intimidated by Georgina and I think it may have been due to the script more than Trachtenberg. She does do some 'disagreeable' things during the course of the episode; for example she spikes Serena's soda knowing full well that Serena's sitting her SATs the next day, and at the end of the episode 'happens upon' a newly broken-hearted Dan under pseudonym of Sarah. (Sorry, just to make it clear it's Georgina who's going under the guise of Sarah, not Dan.) And judging by the look on G's face, I don't think she's planning on taking Dan to Starbucks where they can discuss Wittgenstein over a cup of coffee.

Also G has a drug dealer on speed dial and they're on first name terms. Add to this the constant references to her alcoholism, drug-taking, hardcore partying and general bad behaviour and it seems that G is pretty badass - except that she's not, which is the crux of the problem. Plus, before G 'stumbles upon' Dan there is a confrontation scene between Serena and G where it is revealed that G in fact has something on Serena. Something that could get both of them in very, very serious trouble indeed. There has been much discussion about what this could possibly be with some suggesting that they were involved with a drug-induced death, whilst others say that perhaps Serena was involved in the making of a sex tape. I don't think the latter is correct because *caution; possible spoiler ahead* apparently G uses what she has on Serena in order to co-erce her into making a sex-tape in one of the upcoming episodes. Is this true? Only time will tell I'm afraid. Until then I encourage patience and restraint.

2. Jenny & Asher 'the dog walker'. Don't get me wrong I thought Asher was sweet and all, but I just didn't find him hot in any way. Also, did he remind anyone else of Perez Hilton? But, my real problem is Jenny, again. She's just so rude to Rufus, and he's so hot, which makes her rudeness and disobedience even worse, intolerable even. At one point she's complains about not wanting her friends to see her with Rufus. If he was my dad I'd go everywhere with him because I'd fancy...well I guess I wouldn't if he was my dad cos that kind of thing is wrong, but he's not so I guess it's ok. I'll move on...

3. Serena. I like Serena, but for most of this episode I thought she acted like a class A moron. I shall explain myself. Whenever she saw Dan instead of acting cool and collected, she was all shifty and agitated, not to mention unbelievably suspicious. The only way she could conceivably have looked even more suspicious was if she wore a grey trench coat with matching hat and black sunglasses, carrying a big, black briefcase and sat down next to guys at Central Park asking them in a Russian accent, "Are you GreySquirrel. I have the information. Do you have the code word?". Half the time she couldn't even think of an excuse/lie for Dan, and when she did she should've just kept her mouth shut. Which leads me neatly onto my next point. Throughout the episode Chuck covers for Serena - more than once I would like to add - which he doesn't really have any obligation to do, after all she got him thrown out of the Bass-van der Woodsen household for something he didn't do because of her incessant whining and the fact that she needs to lighten up. Furthermore, Chuck carries out a background check on G for Serena, and pays a girl to sit the SATs in Serena's place when Serena neglects to turn up. And what does he get in return? You would expect a simple 'thankyou' or maybe a kiss on the cheek. But no, instead he gets a tutting and ungrateful Serena. E.g.:

"Serena: Chuck what did you do? I told you to keep the doors open, when I got there they were closed.
Chuck: Yeah. They don't keep the doors open. I was thinking on my feet, just trying to help.
Serena rolls her eyes and turns away from Chuck."

I mean how effing ungrateful. Chuck has quite possibly saved her chances of getting into a prestigious University, all be it by getting another girl to sit her SATs for her, and this is how Serena reacts? S is just asking for me to start hating her.

4. WHERE THE HELL WAS WALDASS? We've all seen the picture from the promos, and in this episode they were wearing the outfits as shown:

But where was the long awaited Waldass action? Or Waldass-tion - note to self; never use again, sounds dodgy. I miss it so much. Some people have suggested that the image was released simply as a publicity stunt because the producers of Gossip Girl are fully aware of the fact that Chuck and Blair are by far the most popular couple on the show and bring in the ratings. For example, Victor/Victrola was the episode with the highest ratings by far, and the others which featured Waldass action complete the list of other episodes with ratings abnormally high for Gossip Girl. Add to this the fact that the limo scene at the end of Victor/Victrola was on the top 10 most watched videos on youtube for weeks after the airing of the episode, and the power of Waldass is clear. However, if this were in fact simply a cheap publicity stunt then, so help me God, I will track down Josh Schwartz and strangle him with my scarf until he orders a rewrite. And I don't care if they've already filmed the rest of the season's episodes, they can damned well film them again. You can't just mess with people's minds like this Josh, it's not fair and I'm pretty sure there's a clause in the International Statute of Human Rights which states as much. Shame on all of you 'powers that be' at CWTV and Gossip Girl inc. Shame on you...

The awesome things:

1. Nelly Yuki. The name just cracks me up. I can't explain it, it's just so funny, not to mention outrageously East Asian. But who the hell is Nelly Yuki? She's Blair's biggest competition vis. getting into Yale, and Blair is not happy, especially with the SATs coming up. Thus, Blair recruits her bitch brigade with the aim of Nelly Yuki's complete mental annihilation, and in return for their support and help the BB girls receive a trip to the spa, massages, tutors, facials...etc all courtesy of the Waldorf estate. Poor Nelly Yuki, she's the archetypal Asian nerd. And what made the whole Nelly Yuki thing more awesome for me was that at my first lecture of the morning - neuro - I realised that there was in fact a 'Nelly Yuki' in the lecture theatre, complete with over sized spectacles. Truly awesome.

2. Duck = Dan and Chuck. Doesn't work? How about Chan? No, we don't want people mistaking Chan for Nelly Yuki's brother now do we? I shall have to think about this one. But my point is this: I am starting to love the whole Dan and Chuck dynamic. Here's the thing, I think Chuck has a twisted kind of respect for Dan, perhaps cos Dan's so unlike him, or because he realises Dan's clever, or perhaps because Bart Bass started off in a similar position to Dan, i.e. not loaded. I don't know. I may be completely wrong. I'm probably just reading way too far into it. I also think that although Dan has Chuck firmly placed in the 'effer' category, he also realises just how clever Chuck is. I think Chuck really is clever and witty, and I bet if he actually studied at school he would do pretty well. But instead Chuck chooses to use his talents for evil, mischief, manipulation and scheming - and that's why I love him. Their relationship is just so interesting and this whole scene made me laugh at loud, but please note that to truly appreciate its awesomeness you have to watch the scene:

"Dan answers the phone expecting it to be Serena calling.
Dan: Hey, I've been wondering where you were.
Chuck: You mean all of your life? (Haha)
Dan is surprised that it’s Chuck calling.
Dan: Er…uh. Don’t take this the wrong way Serena, but you sound just like this jackass we know.
Chuck: Serena has food poisoning. She’s too sick to come to your play date.
Dan: Put her on the phone.
Chuck: The bathroom doesn’t have reception.
Dan: So, now I don’t believe you.
Chuck: And I’d like to say I’m a little glad about that, but my poor sick sister has asked for my assistance in the matter, so I’ll leave it at this. She’s not coming. Don’t try calling. Humphrey, always a pleasure."

Classic.

3. Nate & Vanessa. Don't worry I'm not going to come up with another lame attempt to merge their names into one. My attempts so far have been less than successful, as you have all witnessed. Previously I stated that I was much pleased with the concept of Vanessa and Nate getting together - I thought that, as a result, I would like both characters much more. And I'm glad to report that, as per usual, I was 100% correct. Nate was hot and likeable, and everytime Vanessa was on the screen I didn't find myself having to control my evil right hand as it strove to scratch my eyes out. Just one suggestion for Nate though; I know you and Blair were together for-like-ever, so you've been out of the dating game for quite a while. But don't worry I'm here to help you. Tip#1: Where you take a girl on a date is very important. Now-a-days dating isn't about sending your girlfriend in to sit a SATs test. I know. The dating game is fickle, but so is love, Nathaniel.

4. Waldass? Look, I know I already said there was no Waldass action - and there wasn't - but there was a 'moment' between the two of them, and Goddamn you could feel the sexual tension. And I liked it. More please.:

Mmmmm...sexual.

5. Charles Bass. As soon as the episode opened with the whole spiel on revision and exams I immediately wondered what Chuck was gonna do. He just doesn't seem the revising or stressing type. And I wasn't disappointed. In true Chuck style he cheated and got someone else to sit the exams for him, complete with fake identity. Who sat the test for him? This guy:

And for some reason the fact that it's a black guy, complete with grin, pretending to be THE Chuck Bass made it hilarious for me. It's probably something to do with Chuck being the epitome of the white, rich, spoilt, urban dandy. I don't know. But what I do know is that things could appear to become racist if I keep writing. I'd just liked to clarify that I am not a racist, myself being of mixed ethnicity.

6. Serena-gate. I loved how at the end of the episode Chuck surmises, correctly, that G has something on S. He can read people. You know who else can read people? Blair. For example, she almost immediately realises that that the mayhem at the Debutante Ball in episode 10 (Hi! Society) is due to Chuck's scheming, and realises when Chuck has developed a bit of a crush on her. Yet another reason why Blair and Chuck NEED TO GET TOGETHER.

7. Penn Badgley. Just a quick note to say I was very impressed by Penn's acting in his last scene with Serena. Give yourself a pat on the back Penn. Bravo. If you keep it up like this you might make it onto my best GG actors list, and you know you want to. xoxo.

Random GG stuff:

1. Yes, you guessed it. It's the round-up of Chuck's outfits from the episode. Having perused a few discussion boards I couldn't help but notice that a minority of people are suggesting that Chuck's outfits are becoming increasingly too outrageous, bold and bright. What is wrong with you people? HE'S CHUCK BASS - his outfits reflect his character, and if you don't get that...look I don't want to become abusive so I'll stop. Just look and admire:

The future's bright, the future's incredibly...

Apparently there are dress rehearsals for a production of 'The Nutcracker' on the Upper East Side. And guess who's starring as the lead...
The colour palette for this outfit appears to have come straight from the Teletubbies. I love it. Chuck looks like he's off to the PGA tour; the homosexual edition of course:

Chuck goes casual, and I go weak at the knees. He looks super-hot, and please note that there's his usual touch of pink, and his top matches his socks. His colour coordination skills astound me. I honestly think I'm in love:

2. Maybe this point should have been made in the 1st section of this review. But something about the post-writer's strike Gossip Girl feels different to the pre-strike GG - and I'm not sure if I like it. Nor am I sure as to exactly what it is that has changed. I can't seem to put my finger on it. But first a few notable differences that I have picked up on. The emphasis on the group as a whole has shifted. The show has always consisted of an ensemble cast, but certain characters, i.e. Serena, Dan, Blair...etc, got far more screen time than the others. But now the relative screen times seem to have 'balanced out' to a certain extent. Furthermore, characters that were fairly minor before, have become integral to many of the storylines, the best example being Blair's minions. Another observation is that a large proportion of the scenes now arise at St Jude's/Constance Billard school. As for the other stuff that has changed; don't worry I'm on the case.

3. The Tv ratings for GG have never been great. Does this mean people don't watch the show? No. Lots of people watch the show, but they choose to watch it online - which of course doesn't count Nielsen ratings-wise. A lot of these people download it from itunes, where it is frequently at the no.1 most downloaded spot. Others download it illegally, but I think most of these people are not from the US. Add to this the CW's decisions to change the night that GG is on and to stop streaming on their website - in my opinion a v. naive move, but no-one at CW seems to be able to understand how to market the show on the internet - and now the ratings appear to be on the slide. Although the executives at CW and producers of the show have defended the show's low ratings explaining that a new ratings system is required that takes into account the influence of the internet, my fears have not been allayed, and I believe the decline of ratings is dangerous for the show. And yes, I am slightly worried.

4. I have noticed since being back at Uni that others of my age - that I know would genuinely enjoy the show - do not watch GG, nor do they ever wish to. As described in my first entry on this blog, I too was not interested and the only reason I began was because I caught an episode without fully realising what I was watching. Here are the problems; when you try to describe GG it sounds crap, even to me, and the title 'Gossip Girl' makes it sound like a programme for pre-pubescent girls. I don't really know what could have been done about this as the series is based on the 'Gossip Girl' books. However, what I do know is that people well above the age of 18 (18-50) watch the show, and yet the show seems to be marketed to those under the age of 18, and as I've said before, I'm not sure if anyone under the age of 16 should really watch GG. I just think that for all of GG's publicity, the reason it doesn't entice more people is because it is marketed to completely the wrong...market.

5. Please, someone tell me where I can purchase the Bass cardigan. I've been looking all week without success. I realise that my surname is Murray and not Bass, but what am I supposed to wear on my cardi? A mint? Here's a quick reminder of what the cardi covered in bass, as worn by Chuck BASS, looked like:

Wow. It's still got it.

6. Time for episode 15's awesome Chuck quotes:

"After Blair walks past glaring at Chuck.
She really needs to tone down on the social niceties. It's embarrassing."

"After Chuck tells Serena that according to his 'reliable' sources Georgina's not coming to town after all.
Now you can enjoy the gifts she mailed you with peace of mind and maybe...Chuck in the room."

"The offer still stands. I know a lovely little redhead that's just dying to be you for the day."

"Serena: I’m so stupid. So, so, so stupid.
Chuck: You don’t sound stupid, you sound drunk. What have you been into?
Serena: Georgina. Good news is she doesn’t want anything except to party. Bad news is, I partied.
Chuck: Care to paint a picture? Does this party require clothes?”

“Serena: Can you help me?
Chuck: Say you need me. Serena: Chuck!
Chuck: Hearing you scream my name is more than enough. I’ll take care of you and pick you up in ten.”

“Beautiful day you’re ruining, isn’t it?”

“Serena: Chuck you went too far.
Chuck: And so did you sis. Look I feel…foolish admitting it, but obviously I’ve come late to this party.
Serena: English, please.
Chuck: What’s Georgina got on you?
Serena: Chuck.
Chuck: Dan I understand. But what’s so bad you can’t even tell me?”

And I think I'll leave it there.

xoxo

PS: I think you've got the idea now.

Gossip Girl Episode 14 "The Blair Bitch Project"- A Review - by F

2008-04-23T05:41:00.000-07:00

I realise that so far this blog has been dedicated to one subject - Gossip Girl (and in particular Chuck Bass). I assure you that this will change soon, hopefully.

So, did the new episode live up to my expectations? I'm not sure. I've just been building it up so much in my head, I really don't know what I was expecting. Explosions, perhaps a car chase through the streets of Manhattan involving Chuck and his limo, or maybe even Rufus turning to Chuck and saying, "Chuck, I AM YOUR FATHER!", whilst Chuck screams, "NOOOOoooooooooo...". These are just a few of the ridiculous scenarios I have been conjuring up over the past week. And 'ridiculous ***spoiler warning*** time', none of those things in fact happened on Monday night. I know, I know, I thought the whole Rufus-Chuck thing was a dead cert too, but apparently it's been done before.

Back to the 'actual' episode. I'll begin by discussing logistics. The soundtrack was perfect as always, especially when 'The Kills' chimed in with "Sour Cherry" at the end with the Blair/Jenny stand-off, leading to the final Chuck/Serena scene. This is an awesome song, and is the same track used for the OMG and OMFG GG promos that caused such a stir (if I have time I will discuss the promos @ the end). The pace of this episode is good - my attention was held throughout. One of my main complaints about previous episodes is probably the pacing; sometimes the pacing is pretty uneven going from segments where the show is fast moving and engaging, and then suddenly switching to segments where the show takes a long time to go virtually nowhere. Although, I have to admit that this has improved as the series has moved along, so perhaps the editing...etc of GG has been perfected.

Now to the characters. I'm starting with Jenny because in many ways this is her episode. Jenny is, simply put, a moron. For starters she trades a Valentino (worth $15,000) for a Dolce worth $1,200. Even the homeless dude and his dog that I walk past everyday on the way to lectures know that a custom Valentino is worth more than $1,200. Secondly, after everything's fallen apart for Jenny and she's explaining herself to Rufus, she says this:

“You think I’m ashamed of where I come from. No, Dad what I’m ashamed of is having to bring a brown bag lunch to school and, you know, eat it in the bathroom and then go out to lunch with my friends and pretend that I’m not hungry when I go to lunch with them.”

I'm confused. Please, someone explain to me how that's not being ashamed of where you come from. Either 1. Jenny is both nonsensical and a moron, or 2. I have missed something and am myself in fact a moron. I'm gonna go with option number 1.

Need another reason to hate Jenny; she's awful to Blair. I'm finding this part particularly difficult to write. Here's my problem. Blair is a bitch. She's done some awful things to people in the past - including Jenny - and in this episode continues to be a complete bitch to Jenny. But for some reason I find Blair's bitchiness excusable. Why? Perhaps because of insights into her mother's attitude, the situation with her father, her inherent loneliness and insecurity, and also the rare glimpses of kindness that we have in fact seen with Blair. Somehow, her family's status and problems allow the viewer to understand why she is how she is. We have seen her kindness towards Serena, Chuck, Nate and even Eric, and realise that perhaps she is a product of her environment. With Jenny, however, it is different. Putting aside a now absent mother, she appears to have grown up in a wholesome, caring and nurturing environment. Rufus is a doting father who has sent her to a school he can't really afford because he wants the best for her in life, and she has a loving and protective brother who acts as a pretty damned good role model - too damned good for my liking. And yet, she's an ungrateful and selfish effer. She just seems to be a bad egg. Maybe I'm being too harsh on her, after all she is just a TV character (there I said it).

As for Blair, aside from what I just said, there's not really much more to say. There's another dream/Breakfast at Tiffany's bit, but it doesn't really add anything to the episode. Also, I'm gonna skip over Dan, who basically acts like a sensitive and caring brother/boyfriend the whole episode (yawn), and move on to Nate. Nate seems like a nice, decent enough chap. He's not the sharpest tool in the box, and can be extremely hypocritical (I mean, he slept with Serena whilst he was still with Blair, but Blair's much worse for sleeping with Chuck after they had broken up - double standards much?), that said, he's a good guy and I thought it was pretty sweet how he looked out for Jenny. But for God's sake Nate, how can you not realise that Jenny is just using you at the end and did not in fact want you there just because she was feeling a little lonely. I guess it's not his fault, he's just an innocent, but stupid, civilian caught in someone else's battle. Also here's a little spoiler for the next episode that involves Nate, and I must say, finally a Nate I can get on board with:

http://spoilertv.blogspot.com/2008/04/gossip-girl-episode-115-desperately_23.html

Now to discuss Serena and ...Chuck! This seems apt as many of the best scenes of the episode feature the two of them together. As I stated in my previous entry, the Van der Basses = best TV family EVER! And they didn't disappoint. I loved every second of it. The opening with Chuck casually enjoying a spliff in Serena's bathroom, whilst Serena tries desperately to get Chuck out so she can shower IN HER OWN BATHROOM. Chuck looks effing hot in this scene. There's something wrong with his level of perfection. It needs to be... violated:

"Serena: Chuck I’m serious. Are you done yet? This is my bathroom. It’s late and not to mention disgusting. (Serena bangs on the door) Chuck! (Serena walks into the bathroom) What are you doing?
Chuck is sitting next to the sink looking like a total effer, joint placed firmly in his
mouth. He looks towards the shower.
Chuck: Alright ladies, my sister needs to shower. Make room.
Serena looks around and realises that there are in fact no ‘ladies’ in the room.
Chuck: I’m just messing with you.
Serena: I can’t believe you just lit up in my bathroom.
Chuck: Well if I lit up in mine then the folks would know it was me, sis.
Serena: Oh, Ok. Let’s get one thing straight. Our parents may be insisting on blending our households, but I am not your sister. I do not share any of your DNA, nor do I ever wish to.
Chuck: Then I suggest you get new hand towels. (Possibly the best Chuck retort ever? I think so).
Serena pulls grossed out face.
Serena: Ok. It’s imperative that I bathe. Can you just get out! You know what? Fine, just forget it.
Serena throws Chuck’s spliff into the sink. Chuck picks up spliff and continues as he was."

Awesome, and it's not long before we get more Chucky-S goodness with some Eric, Bart and Lily thrown in for good measure:

"Serena: What are you doing?
Eric: I’m hiding from my valet. He wanted to put my socks on for me this morning.
Serena laughs.
Eric: (to Chuck) Your servants are very attentive.
Chuck: You should meet Brigitta, the new Latvian maid.
Serena: No. No, no he should not meet Brigitta. He’s 14. (to Eric) Avoid this person.
Chuck: May I remind you Serena that you used to have a sense of humour?
Serena: No.
Chuck: Morning father.
Bart: Morning kids.
Serena: Morning.
Chuck: (takes Lily’s hand and kisses it) And how is Lily von Bulow today?
Lily: Oh. I have had the worst headache. I had a very frustrating conversation with the wedding planner this morning.
Chuck: Well may I say aggravation becomes you.
Lily: You may, but I won’t believe it.
Serena rolls her eyes.
Lily: So, first day back at school huh? Honey you didn’t want to, uh, shower?
Serena looks at Chuck pissed, Chuck sniggers.
Serena: I have to go meet Blair. Eric?
Chuck: (to Serena) Go ahead. (to Eric) We’ll take the limo.
Eric shrugs at Serena and looks at Chuck longingly.
Bart: (to Chuck) As my best man I expect you to keep things smooth until the wedding. Chuck: Best man? Um, I’d be honoured sir. (Chuck makes a toast) To family."

Throughout the course of the episode Serena receives several mysterious deliveries, beginning with some porn and handcuffs. Classy. And for some reason she assumes it's Chuck. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? But let's be serious for a second, I think if we were in Serena's situation we would all assume it was Chuck. However, I (and hopefully you) would not react in the same manner as Serena. I mean it's only a joke, and I think the gesture shows Chuck cares in his own pervy and slightly creepy way. Plus I'm kinda into...er...um... presents. But I, and anyone else who has access to the Internet, will have known before this episode aired that it is in fact the mysterious 'G' and not the for-once-innocent Chuck, so this whole story arc was ruined for me as I watched and found myself shouting at the screen, "It's not Chuck. IT'S NOT CHUCK!". This whole spoiler issue is discussed more fully later. Eventually, Bart throws Chuck out of the family house convinced that Chuck is sending the packages, and later we have a scene when Serena confronts Chuck after she thinks he's sent her some coke (we're not talking about the type with the saccharine Santa Christmas ads either), using Eric as a courier, and this time Chuck does not grin and say "Chichi get the llello". Instead we see a hurt Chuck who announces that because of Serena he's been thrown out, and no, he is not the one who sent her the coke, or in fact any of the packages. Poor, poor Chuck. Serena is not swayed and I think we see a particularly cruel side to Serena as she explains to Chuck that he has no friends, girlfriend, or even a father who trusts him because...he's...well Chuck. It's Ok Chuck, I love you.

However, it's not long until Serena receives another delivery. This time it's simply a note that reads "S, Hope you like your presents! Coming back to town. Love, G". Serena realises that Chuck was innocent all along and turns up on Chuck's doorstep. When Chuck reads the note from G it seems that he knows who 'G' is. And, more importantly, he looks scared. If Chuck is scared of/by someone, then you should be scared. In fact, scrap that, the 8 billion people that inhabit this earth should be afraid. They should be very afraid. I know I am. Forget about Osama, G is the real threat. Time to switch to DEF CON 1. Also I love how Chuck offers Serena a drink at the end and she accepts. Really? Accepting a drink made by Chuck. I mean that's just asking for rape, er...I mean trouble, and Serena you of all people should know by now that:

Scarfless Chuck + Being alone with Chuck + Having a drink = Chape-time

God Serena, maybe you and Nate would make a good couple. Hopefully we'll see Serena developing a bit of a friendship with Chuck, and maybe even some trusting feelings, after all, according to Blake Lively, Serena and Chuck used to be good friends.

Other awesome things not yet mentioned about "The Blair Bitch Project":

1. In the 2 final scenes that Chuck features in he's wearing what I would normally regard as an affront to fashion and all of cardigan-kind. It's a cardi with some kind of shark or maybe dolphin print on it. I mean, as illustrated in my last post, Chuck wears some pretty outrageous outfits with some rather questionable prints (the basketball ensemble, anyone?) but the complete absurdity and undeniable originality of his outfits means that they work...on Chuck at least. However, here I thought that Chuck had really let me down, and after all the praise I had lavished on him and his fashion sense in my last post. But wait...on my second viewing - as research for this blog of course, I am a professional - I realised they're not sharks, they're not even dolphins...could this be?...no...no it's just simply not possible...but they are...they're BASS. Chuck Bass wearing a cardigan covered in bass - so tacky that it's awesome. Pure, unequivocal genius. Need I say more? And here it is, I hope that you too are wiping a tear away from your eyes as you gaze at this masterful creation:

Wow. I mean... Wow. I salute you Sir Bass.

2. Yes, (sigh) it's another Chuck outfit. Part of me feels like I should apologise. But another part of me feels like, why should I? This is my effing blog. I'm speechless when I look at this outfit and we all know by now that the words Chuck, outfit and subtle should never be used in the same sentence. But the truly worrying thing is I've become so acclimatised to Chuck's partiality to, shall I say, eccentric clothing (Ok... blantantly gay fashion statements) that the outfit only really caught my eye when Chuck sat next to Eric on the couch. I mean, look at Eric and his suit...and then look at Chuck. The man looks like a raging homosexual what with the swirly-patterned bowtie, the stripy shirt, the blue/purple suit, and those matching suede shoes which could almost be slippers. And if you were still unsure as to the sexual orientation of the ensemble, a pink handkerchief is thrown in for good measure. If Chuck had worn this outfit 60 years ago he would have been arrested immediately, thrown into jail without trial, and - in all likelihood - eventually hanged. Also, note that at no time in the whole episode does Chuck wear this ensemble outside. And I'm glad. I don't want Chuck to die due to a case of mistaken sexual orientation and neither does Chuck I think. In fact, I don't want Chuck to die, full stop. Or leave Tv, ever. And if the show does ever go off air I will kidnap Ed Westwick, hole him up in my basement and force him to act like Chuck 24/7 365 days a year for my amusement, and for his meals. I would also make him... nevermind.

3. Moving on. I completely loved how Lily defended Chuck to Serena by saying, "Chuck may be eccentric, but I doubt he's diabolical.", (dear, naive Lily) and then Bart Bass interrupted quicker than you can say 'poor, misunderstood Chuck' with "What's he done now?". At this point I really did feel sorry for Chuck, but I guess Chuck's got no-one to blame except himself and the many accompanying years of mischief-making that come with all that is the wonderment of Chuck Bass. I too loved that Eric seems to adore Chuck and when Serena seems angry and perplexed at Eric's love of Chuck he explains, "Chuck is fun. Ok? He's cool to me and he doesn't treat me like some freak who just got out of the Ostroff center." There's no arguing with that. Chuck is fun. If I were a guy I'd love to have a friend like Chuck, and going out, partying...etc with him would be incredible. I imagine he'd be just like Colin Farrell during his awesome 'bad-boy' Irish rogue days. But as a girl...well I'd probably still love hanging out with Chuck as long as I had my rape alarm ready at hand. You know, just in case. But more on Eric and Chuck. I love how Eric turns a cold shoulder to Serena after she gets Chuck kicked out by an enraged Bart. And for anyone who doesn't know yet, Eric has been confirmed as the gay character after Kelly Rutherford let it slip in an interview. How predictable. Nevertheless, it should be interesting, especially with Chuck around.

4. Other awesome Chuck quotes from the episode:

"Lily: Oh, don't put your dirty package on the table.

Chuck: If I had a dime for everytime I heard that."

It's funny, but nowhere near as funny as the hand towel comment.

"I say we take the jet to Croatia, where young Eric here can explore the lesser age of consent." Like I said, Chuck = most awesome brother/friend ever.

"I didn't send Serena that package. And quite frankly her violated virgin Mary act is getting pretty old."

I completely concur with Chuck here. Serena's always acting all innocent and pure, but from the flashback of her and Nate getting it on, and the various other suggestions about her past, we know that this is simply not so.

"No need Princess. Bart already kicked me out."
I'm not sure if this one deserves to be on the list, but I just love how he calls Serena 'Princess'. I also love how Chuck calls his dad 'Bart' when he's not around, but 'father' and even 'Sir' when he is.

Other not so awesome things not yet mentioned about "The Blair Bitch Project":

1. At the end, all is forgiven when Jenny shows up to Butter with Nate in tow because, of course, Penelope has like totally had a huge crush on Nate for-like-ever. So, the fact that Jenny stole her supposed friend Hazel's mother's dress - worth $15,000 - then pretended to know nothing about it whilst fully aware one of the maids was gonna get the boot because of her actions, and then when caught red-handed lied again, is inconsequential now? Makes sense, it's not like Penelope can just go up to Nate and talk to him at school. It just seems a bit far-fetched, but then I guess it's the Upper East Side where anything goes.

2. Chace Crawford. I know I've mentioned this before, but I feel he's really underused as Nate. If you've ever seen him interviewed he seems funny, charming and charismatic, but none of this comes across in his role as Nate, and I don't think it's Chace's fault. But maybe that's just this episode, after all we have Nate and Vanessa to look forward to. I shall say no more on this subject. To see an awesome Chace-Ed interview click here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv2nuf_vFCw

I'd just like to say that the interviewer here is a complete narc. Not only does he call Ed Westwick, Ed Westwork, he also calls Ed Chuck at one point. Moreover, he effs up most of his questions which he simply has to read from a card (someone in the comments section called him a 'pleb' - I completely agree), and at one point actually asks Ed if he was 'in Blair' at the end of the Victor/Victrola episode, much to the amusement of Chace, Ed and most of those that have left comments. However, I would like to add that I often love crappy interviewers because you get to see those they interview in a completely different light - often with humorous consequences - and as a result such interviews are rare gems. Case in point this Tim Burton/Johnny Depp interview for the promotion of Sweeney Todd:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG6_gmdlikQ

10 decades. Haha. Narc. I love Johnny. Tim's pretty awesome too. And yes, we are on first name terms.

3. Don't get me wrong I loved some of the little touches with the surprise Jenny loft Birthday Party suspiciously thrown by Blair with the help of Jenny's hot, hot dad Rufus. Such amusing touches included the B-day cake with Jenny's photo-face as icing, the rice-crispy snacks, the metallic party hats, the cut-out birthday signs...I could go on. However, is Rufus so out of touch that he didn't realise that it was going to be a seriously lame ass B-day party? I'm not even sure if the party would have been appropriate for my 11 year old cousin - and she still watches Sesame Street.

4. Georgina Sparks = the mysterious 'G', and the person who plays Georgina = Michelle Trachtenberg = Dawn from Buffy. Ok, this is not so much a complaint about the show, than about the accidental 'leaks' and spoilers that I keep stumbling upon on the internet. I mean I honestly don't want to know what happens before I see a new episode, but there are just so many spoilers out there on the internet that it's hard to avoid them. I'm checking out celeb gossip websites, and there it is. I go to a search engine and type in 'Gossip Girl' and there it is. If I have time I might check out imdb, oh wait...there it is. Sure, you could argue that I could just avert my gaze when the title has 'spoiler' or something in it, but it's just too tempting for the weak-minded such as myself. For example, if you left Chuck in a room with a naked female freshman do you think he would:

a)Turn his back on the young lady and politely ask her to put her clothes back. Or...

b)Politely (or perhaps not so politely) ask the young lady to bend over and assume the position.

My point exactly.

5. Who the hell is the douchebag standing next to Chuck in these screencaps from the episode? I don't think Chuck would ever stand-next to/associate with someone as nerdy looking as this, even if they are loaded. How effing unrealistic.

Other random Gossip Girl stuff:

1. Chuck Bass' (or I guess Ed Westwick's) face - actually this reminds me of when I went to see comedian Jimmy Carr live. He was talking about how throughout the day people had recognised him and had come up to speak to him. One guy said, "Are you Jimmy Carr, or do you just look like him?" Jimmy's reply: Both. There was another hilarious joke about viagra and children, but I really don't think I can repeat it here...

But back to the issue at hand. As I think was made clear in my first post, when I first saw the cast I immediately thought Nate/Chace was the most attractive guy on the show, but it wasn't long till I changed my mind. Sure, part of it was the Chuck charm, charisma and the whole bad-boy image. Sure, another important factor was Chuck's sexy mannerisms and low voice, and the fact that he's quite clearly the best kisser on the show. But I also fell in love with his face. I can't pin-point the exact moment, I don't even know if there was a moment, and I'm also aware that I sound like some awful fangirl. His face is odd. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that I don't think I've ever seen a face quite like his. If someone asked me to tell them why I like his face so much I honestly don't know how I'd answer. But I'm gonna try now. First off I think that the spacing of his features is better than Nate's. Nate has beautiful eyes, but what a friend mentioned to me and then I agreed with upon further inspection is that they seem to be too close together, and in fact all his features are almost 'elven' - he should have been in Lord of the Rings. There's no denying that Nate's hot, but Chuck's face kinda looks like he should be in some kind of Greek or Roman epic complete with a toga and laurel wreath - and I guess I think that's kinda hotter than an elf.

I shall now stop with the Nate/Chuck comparisons, cos they're both hot in their own right, but I will add this. I always assumed that gay guys would go for Nate, but since I've been back at Uni my gay friends all assure me it's Chuck all the way, and that their gay friends feel the same. Apparently Chuck has a bit of a gay fan club going on, and perhaps I have gay taste (according to them). What they also said was that they thought Chuck Bass was a 'put it anywhere' type of guy, but I'm not so sure. I think it may just be wishful thinking on their part. Please note: my Greek analogy seems pretty appropriate right now.

So what else do I like about Chuck's face? He has great colouring (and looks good when pale or slightly tanned), great cheekbones, and I like his eyebrows; they're thick, but not too thick and are a good shape. I also like his quasi-oriental brown/hazel eyes; they're pretty, but also kinda intense. Next up his lips; they're full and have good colour, and now to his hair. The way that his hair is styled/cut affects how his face looks immensely. I think I prefer it shortish, but not too short, or maybe long, I don't know. What I do know is that I like it fairly even because then you can see more of his forehead which balances out his face and in particular his...nose. About his nose, from his profile you can see that it's perfectly straight, but depending on what angle you look at it can go from looking bulbous, to thin...etc. I'm not complaining, in fact I think it makes his face more interesting. The first thing that one of my best friends said about Chuck when I saw her back at Uni was that he has a great nose. And I think that's the thing about Chuck's face. I've seen all the episodes, most more than once, and I still can't decipher his face, it's just so interesting, changeable, and different that I could look at it all day. It's how the strong angles, manly jaw, but also the more feminine features work together to give his incredible, and strangely attractive face. It just works, imperfections and all. Hollywood take note, perfection is so last year (I think I'm gonna write an article on Hollywood and the emphasis on looks soon). Also I have read on many blogs that Ed is much better looking in real-life than on GG, so there. In conclusion, I WOULD DEFINITELY HIT THAT.

2. The Gossip Girl Promos. Over-sexed? Yes. There's no denying that promos were, well I wouldn't say explicit, but highly sexual yes. According to the promos the only thing the show has to offer is sex, whereas as those of us who watch it know that in fact there is much, much more to the show. I would like to clarify that I'm not defending the somewhat extreme, and perhaps to some desperate, marketing ploy that the Gossip Girl marketeers resorted to, but I am shocked by the level of attention it has received in the media. The thing is we are surrounded by sex so much in our everyday lives that it seems strange to me when the issue is raised in such a passionate manner. Of course, it appears worse because GG is supposedly for young teens, but as I have mentioned before, I really don't think that is the real core demographic for the series (I would say probably 16+), and one would have to be truly naive to think that they too are not surrounded by sex. Let's take movies and Tv as a given. They are surrounded by sex at school, in the playground (if such a thing still exists), on the radio, in teen magazines, and adverts for pretty much anything including razors, shampoo, furniture...you name it. Plus, I really don't think it's fair that the blame is shoved onto one Tv show. I can think of few if any Tv dramas that haven't at one time used sex as a ploy to attract viewers. Sex sells, and unless there is a fundamental change in society and the way sex is portrayed in the media, I don't think that's ever going to change.

3. The Parent Television Council. I guess this could be lumped in with the above section, but I think it warrants it's own section. I have of course already discussed the promos, but this is what the 'council' has to say about them:

The “sexually suggestive photo showing a teenage boy kissing a girl’s cleavage” in the ads, as well as the use of the phrase “OMFG,” is much too much for PTC. The whole campaign is just a “deliberate use of profanity and sexual imagery to exploit and further corrupt young viewers, and has warned its members about the show and the new ad campaign.”

And what does the council have to say about the show itself? I'll give you a clue, it's not that it's being recommended as a must-see Tv show at bible-study classes around the country:

It’s “the most-watched show among girls 12-17 and glamorizes casual sex and drug use among teens. Storylines have featured a would-be teen rapist, threesome among teens, and teenage girls having sex with adults.”

Some remarks, by me:

a. So in terms of problems with the actual show, the problem according to the PTC is basically... Chuck. Would-be teen rapist: Check. Threesome among teens: Check. Has casual sex: Check. Drug-use: Check. Interesting.

b. I don't think the show really glamorises the use of drugs in any way. I mean Dan is considered the moral centre of the show, and he never dabbles in narcotics of any kind (though I heard he took an aspirin once).

c. I don't think the show glamorises casual sex either. I think Chuck is the only character who really indulges in this (and I suppose Serena in her past), but the show doesn't really seem to take any position on sex, not like The O.C. did anyway.

d. Most watched show among girls 12-17. Is this really true? I am not suggesting that the holy council has lied in anyway, heaven forbid, but I find this difficult to believe because the network ratings are not that great, and even when considering itunes downloads, tivo statistics...etc it just doesn't seem to be that huge a show. In fact as one ratings analyst put it, if you take all the facts and figures into account, it's really more of a cult show.

e. Have I missed something? I don't remember any teenage girl having sex with an adult on GG. And if I have someone please email me the episode because, baby, I'm gonna want to watch it.

4. The New York Magazine Cover. I really like this cover – its sexual and amazing and ... white, plus as my best friend (and fellow blogger) pointed out it looks like Chuck is not only feeling up Blair, but Nate as well which just adds to its awesomeness. But ‘Best TV Show Ever!’ - there, ladies and gentlemen, is what is commonly known as an 'overstatement'. Sure at the bottom of the cover it says in font size 6 writing "Not really, but there's a lot to be said for it.", but still it seems a little over the top. Also does it strike anyone as a tad odd that Taylor Momsen (aka Jenny) - who is only 14 - is pictured in her underwear, whilst Blake Lively (aka Serena) - who is 2o - is pictured in a dress? It's just a little wrong. One more criticism and then I'm done, I promise; is it just me or does Penn Badgley have breasts? Critiscisms aside, Ed and Leighton look incredibly hot, as does Chace, and Blake's body is pretty slammin', and yes, I've got it hanging on my wall. I just hope that Penn was considerate enough to avoid baked beans for at least 24 hours prior to the shoot, because otherwise poor, poor Jessica (aka Vanessa).

Xoxo

Disclaimer: My fellow blogger and I would just like to reiterate that we DO NOT CONDONE RAPE. Nor do we condone casual sex, drugs, excessive/underage drinking...etc. Also please take this and any other articles you made read with a pinch of salt – we often use exaggeration for effect and frequently offend people of many different races, classes, religions…etc.

Why you should watch Gossip Girl and be excited about its return - by F

2008-04-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that when I read the premise of Gossip Girl, and even when a friend outlined the characters for me, it really didn’t appeal to me in any way. I had enjoyed ‘The O.C.’, well at least the first 2 seasons - but another programme about spoilt rich kids, this time in New York? C’mon. However, by chance, on the Thursday before last I caught the second episode. I wasn’t immediately hooked, I guess partially because I had missed the first one, but also because I didn’t find any of the characters particularly easy to relate to. And I will freely admit that a large part of the reason I continued watching was because of Nate’s pretty, pretty face (don’t worry after a couple more episodes, def a Chuck fan, Chuck all the effing way) – I’m not ashamed… well perhaps a little.

Anyway, this is beside the point. I watched, and the part that made me change my mind about Gossip Girl; Chuck and his weird threesome – no; Nate and Chuck talking about death by scarf – intriguing, humorous even, but no; the extremely hot ‘older’ male character - Rufus - making an appearance – sadly, no…you get the idea. The conversation between Bart Bass and Chuck was important though. It signalled to me that perhaps the characters were not as 2D as I had first presumed. But it was the confrontation scene that ‘sealed the deal’ for me. It was perfectly orchestrated. The sheer glee that Blair derived from announcing to Dan that yes, she did in fact know where Serena was, the look of fear and shame on Serena’s face, Dan looking perplexed, Nate looking…well pretty, and then there was Chuck who arrived and chimed in with an ‘I know everything’, before sharing what he knew in the most devastating and crude way possible (dear God I love Chuck). The circling cameras, the close-ups, the quick retorts. I savoured every moment. In particular this bit, which I think warrants some direct quoting:

"Dan: (to Blair) Did you talk to my sister?
Chuck: Ah yes. Little Jenny. I do believe she and I have some unfinished business.
(just a quick heads up for anyone who hasn’t watched the show, by “unfinished business” Chuck means…I guess there’s no easy way to say it…he means unfinished rape – my fellow blogger and I do not condone rape in any circumstance, but he is Chuck Bass, and rest assured he does not attempt to rape anyone again, well not in the episodes so far anyways.)
Dan: You stay away from her.
Chuck: Poor Daniel. So little time, so many sluts to defend.
Dan pushes Chuck, and not in a friendly nudge kinda way."

This causes a truly awesome scene at what is supposed to be a super-posh brunch. Blair of course revels in the mayhem, as is I think perfectly illustrated by this screencap:

As for Chuck, I'll let this picture do all the talking:

After this episode I went back to my room and downloaded all the episodes, and watched them one right after the other. The series in fact improves almost exponentially from the pilot onwards. That includes the script, storylines, soundtrack, character development, camera work, and even the acting. About the acting. For what is supposedly a teen drama (though I would argue that the demographic for the show is older, I’m not sure if I had a 12/13/14 or even 15 year old whether I would let them watch the show) I find that acting pretty decent and solid, and at times exceptional. There are one or two ‘actors’ that possibly have achieved their position on the show for reasons other than their talent – they shall remain nameless. But I would like to take this opportunity to applaud the following members of the cast, though this is not necessarily to say that I do not appreciate the efforts of the other cast members:

1. Kelly Rutherford – she brings a certain vulnerability to her role as Lily van der Woodsen, whilst at the same time managing to maintain the appropriate level of respectability for a woman of her wealth and stature.

2. Kristen Bell – Ok so she’s not exactly ‘on the show’ but her voice and every intonation are perfect for the Gossip Girl. I can’t imagine anyone else narrating or saying phrases as “Spotted. Chuck Bass, drunk off his ass.” How I love to hate you GG.

3. Leighton Meester – at times she is able to be the biggest, baddest bitch in the world, and almost with the flick of a switch she is able to be vulnerable, exposed, naïve, sentimental and even sweet. And yet her character - Blair Waldorf - is always believable.

4. Ed Westwick – if you’ve ever seen him interviewed it’s difficult to believe that it’s the same person that plays Chuck Bass. I am quite frankly in awe of his acting ability, especially as he’s not received any formal training in any acting school and is only 20. He is truly a naturally talented actor. First, he’s British (from Stevenage – near London) complete with English accent in the ‘real world’ (but what is the ‘real world’? I ask you), but his American accent is absolutely perfect, flawless. Second, he seems to be completely unlike his character (although recent stories of his partying and womanising in NY’s clubs and bars would suggest otherwise) – shy, plays in an indie band (Chuck Bass in a band, can you imagine? It would be like Paris Hilton on Mastermind), is apparently a one-woman man, wears Doherty-esque hats…etc. I mean sure he does have some of the best lines in the series, but the facial expressions he pulls, the way he delivers the lines, his mannerisms, everything is just perfect. He, like Leighton, can go from one extreme to another; vulnerable and insecure in front of Bart Bass, to SUPREME PERV RULER OF THE WORLD in front of pretty much everyone else. When I’m watching I often wonder just how much of his movements and the way he plays with the objects around him is improvised and how much is planned. Case in point the pool scene in episode 10, Hi Society: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3MGumwum8k

Also please note how awesome his outfit is in this scene. How many people do you know who could honestly pull off this outfit? Aside from Chuck Bass I would propose Johnny Depp, but I think that’s about it in the WHOLE, ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

In fact, I think at the end of this article I might conclude with Chuck’s 5 greatest fashion moments.

5. Robert John Burke – aka Bart Bass. Though it is unclear as to why exactly Chuck is so terrified/in awe of him, Mr Burke does give off an aura of power (perhaps even ‘evil power’), which is not easy to do, especially when in most of his scenes he is trying to act in a fatherly manner towards Chuck, or wooing Lily.

KUDOS to all of you who made it on my list – you have pleased me, and I am sure many others. Don’t let me down.

So why, aside from the acting, should you watch Gossip Girl? The characters. I really did love Seth (before he got all whiny), Summer, Sandy, Kirsten, Julie and a few others from The O.C., but none of them has quite grabbed my attention as much as Chuck (surprise, surprise), Blair, Lily, and Serena. Using your powerful skills of deduction I think you have probably elucidated that I love the character of Chuck Bass. He’s mischievous, misguided, manipulative, conniving, scheming, witty, arrogant, pervy, and an all round bad-boy. But watch episode 4 (Bad News Blair) or episodes 7 (Victor/Victrola), 8 (Seventeen Candles), 10 (Hi, Society), and 13 (A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate) and I guarantee you’ll see a different side of him. A more vulnerable, caring and gentle side. A side that is able to feel affection. A side that only Nate and Blair have ever been exposed to. Plus Chuck really makes me laugh. Time for some classic Chuck quotes. Please note that if you intend to begin watching and don’t want any spoilers then perhaps you’d best avoid these:

1.“Serena look effin hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated.”

2.“Poor Daniel. So little time, so many sluts to defend.”

3.“Chuck: If I knew his name, I'd kill him.

Nate: Because you kill people now? What, you gonna hunt him down with your scarf?

Chuck: Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.”

4.“Let's catch up. Take our clothes off. Stare at each other.”

5.“You guys have been dating since kindergarten and you still haven't sealed the deal.”

6.“Don’t eff with an Effer.”

7.“Chuck: This is some good stuff.

Nate: I'm gonna need it. Blair's mum's at the country house.

Chuck: Yeah? Well then maybe I should swipe some of my dad's Viagra. Nate looks nonplussed. Or my mom's Paxil? Nathaniel, you're finally about to have sex with your girlfriend. It's like you're headed to your execution.

Nate: No man. I'm good.

Chuck: Talk to Chuck, buddy. You and Blair have been dating forever. Now there's a problem?Nate: There's no problem. It's just; do you ever feel like our lives have been planned out for us? That we're just going to end up like our parents?

Chuck: That's a dark thought.

Nate: Aren't we entitled to choose? Just to be happy?

Chuck: Look, easy Socrates. What we're entitled to is a trust fund. Maybe a house in the Hamptons. A prescription drug problem. But happiness does not seem to be on the menu. So smoke up, and seal the deal with Blair. 'Cause you're also entitled to tap that ass.”

8.“Why should I be an usher? I’m Chuck Bass.” (Pure Chucky-goodness.)

9.“Chuck: I’m honoured to be playing even a small role in your deflowering.
Blair: You’re disgusting.
Chuck: Yes, I am. So why be shy?”

10.“Nate: Can't you just call it a watch?

Chuck: If it costs more than 10 grand it deserves a proper name.” (So true.)

11.“I heard about the field hockey through down. All those mouth guards and short skirts I hope somebody filmed it.”

12.“I am a bitch when I wanna be.”

13.“Don’t get your La Perlas in a bunch.”

14.“You look ravishing. If I was your man I wouldn’t need clues to find you.”

15.“You were amazing up there.”

16.“Good eye docu-girl. I'll be taking the tape now.”

17.“You've lived through Ivy Week and hopefully gained entry into the college of your choice. Now. Let's ruin those chances. Let me remind you of the rules. As of this moment there is no outside world that I do not show you. You eat what I provide, practice what I preach. Until I say so, the only girls you talk to are the ones I paid for. Now, let the lost weekend commence.”

18.“Chuck: Who brought the sasquatch?

Nate: Isn't that Carter Basin? I haven't seen him since the eighth grade when he was in the tenth. He looks intense.

Chuck: Are you high? He looks like Matthew McConaughey between movies. The guy's a loser. Look, anyone who trades their trust fund for a fanny pack flies in the face of all that is holy to Chuck Bass.” (Few things can make laugh as much as this scene.)

19.“ This is the lost weekend for juniors, not senior citizens. Go jump into a volcano.”

20.“Having remorse sex fantasies about your ex?”

21.“Don’t give in to your parents’ wishes if they’re not your desires.”

22.“Little Jenny Humphrey manages to get my pants off and have me not enjoy it. Quite the accomplishment.”

23.“Looks like it’s just you and me. Apparently my room’s available.”

24.“Jenny: Let's play a game.

Chuck: I'd say strip poker. But I don't have any cards.”

25.“Nate: I know you're there, I can hear you breathing on the other side of the door.

Chuck: [opens door] Nathaniel!

Nate: Where's the girl?

Chuck: In my dreams. I was trying to get some shut-eye. What's on your mind?

Nate: Just my mum.

Chuck: Sounds Freudian.”

26.“Blair: From this moment forward, the events of last night will never be mentioned again, is that clear?

Chuck: Not as clear as the memory of you purring in my ear, which I have been replaying over and over...

Blair: Well, erase the tape! Because as far as I'm concerned, it never happened.

Chuck: I'll see you at your party tonight.

Blair: You're officially uninvited.

Chuck: Never stopped me before!”

27.“Bart Bass: Why do you think I do all this? Huh? This party is for you, okay, so you can meet people. You know, become a part of something, make some kind of change.

Chuck: Really? I thought it was another excuse for an open bar and, ah, rehiring of the nearly-nude statues.

Bart: Do me a favour, will you? Lose the Scotch. It's barely noon.”

28.“Dan: Does this have anything to do with why you were waiting for Serena this morning?Blair: You were what?

Chuck: And here I thought you were waiting for me.

Dan: Oh exactly what this situation needs, Chuck. Now what is going on here?

Blair: We were just getting to that.

Serena: Blair, please, don't do this.

Blair: Sorry, did you want to tell him?

Chuck: I'll tell him.

Serena and Nate: You know?

Chuck: I know everything.

Dan: And apparently I know nothing.

Serena: Look, Dan, it was a long time ago and I regret it.
Chuck: Look, Serena, stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So you slept with your bestfriend's boyfriend. I kind of admire you for it.”

29.“Blair: As is tradition on the day before my birthday, I'm heading to the jewellery to put some pieces on hold for Eleanor and...

Chuck: Nate? Oh, I don't think he'll be singing Happy Birthday this year.

Blair: No one knows that Nate and I broke up, and it's going to stay that way until I can fix this. And I don't think you're best friend would still be you best friend is he knew...

Chuck: If he knew how much I enjoyed the removal of a certain chastity belt in the back of this very limo?”

30.“Chuck: (sees Blair coming out of church) Well, this is the last place I'd expect to find you.

Blair: Go away, Chuck! I've been given orders, practically from God himself, to avoid you.

Chuck: Would you consider avoiding me over breakfast?”

31.“Look... I care about three things, Nathaniel. Money, the pleasures money brings me, and you.”

32.“Blair: Enough with the blackmail, aren't you bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever.

Chuck: I didn't say forever, just until the sight of you two together doesn't turn my stomach.

Blair: And when will that be?

Chuck: Only time will tell, I'm afraid. So unless you want dear Nathaniel to know how you lost your virginity to me in the back of a moving vehicle, I encourage patience and restraint.
Blair: Isn't there someone else you can torture?

Chuck: Probably, but I choose you.”

33.“How about I turn that one-piece to a no-piece?”

34.“Chuck: You looked hot on Prince Theodore's arm, today.

Blair: Is that what I am to you, just an accessory?

Chuck: Next to him, yes. On me, you'd be so much more.”

35.“Serena: Hi, Chuck.

Chuck: Please, call me brother.”

36.“Chuck: Poor little Humphrey Dumpty. Look, let me clarify something for you. Regardless of who you're currently sleeping with, you and I come from different worlds. In my world, if I'm suspended or expelled, a wing is donated in the Bass name.

Dan: That sounds like quite a world.

Chuck: It's not perfect, I'll admit.”

37.“Chuck: You know, if my dad and your mom come back from South Africa tomorrow engaged we'll be brother and sister. And you know what they say, the family that plays together stays together.

Serena: Ah. Incest, the universal taboo. One of the, uh, only ones you haven't violated.

Chuck: I'm game if you are.”

38.“Chuck: I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.

Serena: And if you get a drink they're also serving pigs.

Chuck: I love it when you talk dirty.

Serena: You just love it when a girl talks to you.

Chuck: Actually I prefer it when they're not talking.

Serena: Hm. I've missed your witty banter.”

39.“Chuck: It's a facility for the disturbed or addicted.

Blair: You must have your own wing.

Chuck: You don't get nearly enough credit for your wit.”

40.“Chuck: So this is your bed, huh?

Blair: Get out.

Chuck: You can repay me another time.”

41.“If you wanted to play rough, all you had to do was ask.”

42.“You sure?” (the awesomeness of this quote is not immediately apparent, but Chuck asks it right before dipping his shalaly into Blair, so it’s definitely not rape, and a positive step forward for Chuck I think.)

43.“Chuck: Who’s the new girl?

Girl: She's a freshman.

Chuck: I love freshman, there so…

Girl: Fresh.”

44.“Chuck: As much as I love the speech about not needing material things from a guy who has that much product in his hair, this party is about excess. Not exposition. Stop talking. Start partying. Two girls sidle up beside him. Now here is something that doesn't need material. As a matter of fact it's about to come off. Who's with me?

Nate: I think I'm just gonna hang here for a bit.

Chuck: Fine. I'd hate to break up a matched set anyway.”

45.“Chuck: What is Carter still doing here?

Nate: I invited him.

Chuck: Or he invited himself. That is his style. Begging us to break free of our prisons while stuffing his face with free food and draining our booze. He's a deadbeat and a hypocrite.”

46.“And remember, don't dip your shalaly in the wrong pot o' gold.”

47.“Chuck: So what exactly are you looking for?

Nate: Evidence.

Chuck: Of what? The Captain's dislike of starchy shirts? I totally sympathise. The collars chafe.”

48.“What happens at Victrola, stays at Victrola.”

49.“Nathaniel. Your position in my esteem has been replaced by your voicemail.”

50.“Random Dude: Who's that girl?

Chuck: I have no idea.”

51.“Blair: You sound like a jealous boyfriend.

Chuck: Yeah right. You wish.

Blair: No. You wish.

Chuck: Please. You forget who you're talking to.

Blair: So do you. Do you... like me?

Chuck: Define like.

Blair: You have got to be kidding. I do not believe this.

Chuck: How do you think I feel? I haven't slept. I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach. Fluttering.

Blair: Butterflies? Oh no no no. This is not happening.

Chuck: No one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.

Blair: Chuck. You know that I adore all of God’s creatures and the metaphors that they inspire. But, those butterflies? Have got to be murdered.”

52.“She does have a certain glow about her, doesn't she?”

53.“Like the book says, she's just not that into you.” (once again you need to watch the scene)

54.“Chuck: We just need to wait until we can get him in a public place. Everyone who thinks he's changed will see the truth. Then we can get him back for everything he's done to you, and everything he's doing to Blair.

Nate: Yeah, when's that going to happen, huh?

Chuck: I have a feeling it may be sooner than you think.”

55.“Carter to Blair: And now for someone with only one left foot.

Chuck to Nate: He just told her what he's going to do to her later.”

56.“Blair: So we all know who this works.

Chuck: No one talks, no one gets into trouble.

Nate: Who did break in, anyway?

Chuck: Guess we don't have to worry about Nate cracking under pressure.”

57.“Chuck: You're taking the paper seriously.

Nate: This isn't the paper, it's a heartfelt letter to Blair.

Chuck: A heartfelt letter? Who spayed you, man? Blair doesn't even want you. She's been crystal about that since we got back.”

58.“Chuck to Dan: In case you're wondering, you narc, I only took that key from the party to hide it that we wouldn’t all get blamed. Including you.”

59.“About getting knocked up? I must say I'm disappointed you weren't more careful.”

60.“I'll try to be more succinct. You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate and untouched. But now you're like one of the Arabians my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore. And I can't see why anyone else would.”

61.“Something this beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of its beauty. I really am sorry.” (Ahhhh…)

62.“Chuck: How glad are you to see our families merge, Sis?

Serena: So glad that if you ever call me that again it'll be the last thing you ever say, Chuck. Chuck: I love it. Our first brother-sister squabble. Well I hope you're going to make yourself available for more missed childhood memories. Bathing together, for example.”

63.“Chuck: [Chuck comes over, puts his hand on her knee but she tosses it away] I was just looking out for my family. The new Van Der Woodsen-Bass library should be completed for Eric's graduation.

Bart: I can see that Lily and I are going to have our hands full with the two of you.”

64.“Serena: Oh my god, this is so good! Thank you!

Chuck: You know, if you really want to thank me, I've got a few ideas...

Serena: It's just a sandwich, Chuck.” (Attempted rape then ensues.)

65.“Chuck: Who is that?

Blair: Probably some bitch from Chapin.

Chuck: A hot bitch from Chapin.”

66.“Some of us are trying to regain our strength.”

67.“Never get your blood going either.”

68.“I’d just like to say how proud I am of Miss Waldorf and her commitment to Mr Archibald even though he ruined her 17th birthday and slept with…”

69.“I have truly died and gone to heaven.” (This quote is tres magnifique because at the time Chuck is wearing a devil ensemble, complete with mask – please see end of article.)

70.“You are really talented.” (To a stripper who just tied a knot in a cherry stalk using just her tongue.)

71.“Nate: Could you find out who she’s seeing?
Chuck: Me.
Nate: Yes. C’mon man. Who better?
Chuck: Who better indeed.” (The perfectly disguised confession, Chuck you old dog.)

72.“Chuck: Nathaniel, ready to wake and bake?
Nate: We have our interviews today.
Chuck: My point exactly. I have my one-hitter.”

73.“Look I’m not going to tell Nate about us. I tortured her, got bored, moved on.”

74.“Alfonso made me an omelette. I may have washed it down with a Bellinis or two.”

75:“Chuck: Care to make a wager. If he calls I’ll leave you alone forever. If he calls you spend the night with me.
Blair: I will not.
Chuck: Thought you were sure.”

Many of these scenes are shown here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI2afDGo8m8

And here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oe4gCQWs6kA&feature=related

And if you can’t wait for the new episodes, Chuck on top form can be seen here:
http://tv.yahoo.com/show/40313/videos/7427217
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o60TCp1fhag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxrjgNd_7mg&feature=related

I’m too excited. Words cannot express…look I realise I’ve already spent way too much time on Chuck. So I’ll move on.

Blair, like Chuck has two-sides, and though I don’t exactly relate to her, I can at times sympathise with her (plus she adds comedic value and has a very pretty face and tight bod). I think that’s the beauty of the series; very few people will ever be in any of the exact situations that the characters are in because their lives are so extreme. Hence, Gossip Girl is perhaps not a deep, insightful or soul-searching programme. But it is entertaining and compelling viewing. Plus, a lot of the issues, i.e. gossip, high school, divorce, are relevant to most people’s lives whether they be teenagers or adults. The relationships between the characters are almost always intriguing, often more so than the characters themselves, and I do find myself caring for characters I never imagined I would (case in point Chuck, Blair, Lily, maybe even the at times grating Jenny). I really like Lily – I’m not sure why – and Serena is like the friend you wished you had in high school; bubbly, friendly, kind, popular, outgoing, pretty…etc. Dan I am fond of, but his self-righteousness does annoy me a little.

Other reasons to watch the show include the great soundtrack, (GG is doing for pop what The O.C. did for indie/rock) and the fashion – which, rightly so, has developed a big following.

But now for why you should be excited about its return.

Let’s assume the return of Chuck Bass to our screens is a given, and discuss the Van der Basses. Yes, the Van der Woodsen family and the Bass family are about to merge and I foresee delectable, combustible and delicious situations on the horizon. There’s definitely gonna be trouble ahead. First there’s Lily and Bart – will he realise that she’s just not that into him? Then there’s Eric and Serena. Will they be able to adjust to the new living conditions? Next up Lily and Chuck. I love their relationship and I suspect it will develop. Not in a Luke-Julie kinda way, but more Lily being the maternal figure that Chuck has always craved. Also a character is being outed – various reliable sources state it is Eric (which is hardly news, it’s been suspected for a long time). I think that Eric will love being Chuck’s brother, and that Chuck will love having someone he can ‘nurture’, so to speak. And if the gay rumours are true maybe Eric will love Chuck a little too much. And finally Serena vs Chuck. This is going to be explosive, and if the previews are anything to go by, I think my head might just explode from the awesomeness and hilarity of it.

So that’s 2 reasons so far. An outed character and the Van der Basses. Recent promo shots have indicated a romance developing between Vanessa and Nate apparently he’s attracted to her because she’s so unlike the Upper East Side girls, i.e. has no money and is not completely bitchy. This pleases me. Nate has not really grown on me I think partially cos of a serious lack of character development, but also because of the crappy storylines he’s been given – finally he has a storyline that might actually go somewhere interesting and new. This development also pleases me because Vanessa’s constant meddling in Serena and Dan’s relationship is becoming extremely tiresome and her character often comes across as…well…quite frankly rude, what with the inviting herself to parties and videotaping people without their permission, or maybe the climbing into someone’s room without asking beforehand. Maybe now Vanessa will leave Dan and Serena in peace. I can only hope and pray that this is so. Make it so Josh Schwartz. Make it so.

And now to Blair and Chuck. I love them soooo much together it is untrue (they are my new Buffy and Angel, although I did kinda like Buffy and Angelus and Buffy and Spike) and one person on a blog or something said they were like a modern day Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler, which I completely concur with. From the screencaps and rumours it appears that there is a reconciliation on the cards involving flowers and Chuck standing up for Blair. But who knows. Here’s a screencap from an upcoming episode:

Ah, the matching headband and coat. They look so good together and would make such beautiful babies. I love Waldass.

If you need more spoilers there are plenty here:

http://lounge.cwtv.com/showthread.php?t=181100

Enjoy.

xoxo

Ah yes, as previously advertised:

CHUCK’S 5 GREATEST FASHIONISTA MOMENTS:

5. What Chuck list would be complete without mention of Chuck’s scarf? I know it’s not exactly an ‘outfit’ per se, but I like to think of it as acting as an extension of Chuck’s personality. But beware when the scarf comes off, cos it’s time for a rapin’. Chuck’s scarf was retailed at J. Press at the price of $175, and was only available by phone order from the Manhattan branch. I say ‘was’ because it sold out in days despite the fact that it’s made from the silk remnants leftover from making their ties. I think that’s a true testament to the power of Chuck and his scarf. And I’m going to be honest with you, I have myself been looking to purchase the scarf and found it on the facebook market for $300 not including P&P. Is it worth it? My God, yes.

4. Here Chuck wears more pink than any man has ever worn in the history of God’s green earth…and manages to carry it off. How? I’m not sure. Because he’s Chuck Bass? Maybe. All I know is that I love it, and I completely love the scene where he wears it. And I would like to take this opportunity to tell my best friend (who coincidentally is the person who shares this blog with me) that I can only imagine how awesome this scene is for her, as she loves horses and she loves Chuck, who uses a horse analogy in the most splendid, remarkable and devastating way imaginable:

"I’ll try to be more succinct. You held a certain fascination when you were beautiful, delicate and…untouched. But now you’re like one of the Arabian’s my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don’t want you anymore, and I can’t see why anyone else would.”

3. Chuck Bass disguised as the devil at the masked ball. Chandler time: Could his outfit be any more perfect. I’ve done my fair share of dressing up, but Chuck puts me royally to shame. The mask, the bowtie, the jacket, the colours. Bravo Bass, Bravo.

2. At no.2, just pipped for the top spot it’s the basketball ensemble. This outfit appeared in the episode where I realised that Chuck Bass kicks ass, and is in fact my hero. You can keep your Einsteins, Nelson Mandelas, Churchills, Martin Luther Kings, Jesus Christs (too far?) …etc, Chuck Bass is THE MAN.

And now an attempt to describe the outfit. Well first off it’s incredibly camp and gay, with the headband adding a whole new dimension of gayness. Also what the chauffeur in the first picture is probably trying to figure out, and what I, after several viewings, am still trying to figure out is what the hell the print is supposed to be. It looks like it’s part of some kind of Budweiser ad campaign. Or perhaps something Chuck bought from a tourist stand/gift shop when visiting the crown jewels in London. I dunno, but whatever it is the whole outfit looks incredible. I hope Chuck has some bodyguards though, because some dude probably tried to beat him up on the court because of it.

1. And yes, you guessed it. At the no.1 spot it’s the pool outfit. It doesn’t get much more rapey than this my friends – if I had to define rape with one outfit it would most probably be this one.

Incredibly Rapey: Check
Mad: Check
Utterly Ridiculous: Check
Completely original: Check
Effing Amazing: Double check

What more could you possibly want from an outfit?

On one website it was described as being, oh the dude’s phrasing is so perfect I think I’m gonna have to quote him:

“Chuck looks possibly the greatest he ever looked. Which is funny, because he's wearing some kind of red-striped seaside "bathing costume" with printed shorts and a skinny-strap tank like some old guy in the background of Babar's Day At The Beach. He looks like somebody's French dad. Also, he is wearing sunglasses not only at night but indoors, which is a double shot of Chuck right there. It is utterly, madly perfect, and about twice as hairy as a child their age deserves to be, which note me not at all complaining, but on the other hand if you put the whole Sur-de-Francois look and the total body hair onslaught together with Blair's "natural musk" quote from awhile back, he's like fifty times more rapey than usual just sitting there in the lifeguard's chair.”

The man’s clearly a genius and you can find his utterly fantastic and marvellous ‘recaps’ here: http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/gossip-girl/

His name is Jacob, and Jacob if you’re reading this my fellow blogger and I would just like to say thank you and that we love you. Many a time have we thought about sending you an email to show our appreciation and congratulate you on your wit, but have failed. Why? Because we didn’t want to seem like creepy stalkers. Forgive us Jacob. We hope this homage is enough.

Some honourable mentions - yes these are the outfits that didn’t quite make it onto my list:

THE THREESOME PJ’S

Don’t get me wrong, the pyjamas are incredible. But why exactly did Chuck, and the two girls he ‘Chuck Bassed’ feel the need to put their clothing on after the night before? Out of politeness to Nate? And what exactly was Nate doing on Chuck’s couch whilst Chuck was enjoying some of the hotel’s ‘room service’? I think we all know the answer to that question.

THE 'BEE' OUTFIT

Here Chuck’s outfit looks like it belongs on a 45-50 year old man, and please may I remind any readers that Chuck is supposed to be 16. Nevertheless, it’s completely delicious. I am especially fond of the yellow roll neck – I go to a pretty posh Uni and can safely say I’ve never seen any guy wear a roll neck to lectures and if I did I’d probably jump his bones all the while screaming “Chuck, I entitle you to tap my ass…eff me you Effer.”

THE TUX

If there’s one thing that Chuck knows how to do – aside from rape – it’s how to wear a tux. It’s understated, yet classy, perfectly fitting and clearly very well tailored. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I think I’m in love with Chuck Bass.

Xoxo

Disclaimer: My fellow blogger and I would just like to say, once again, that we DO NOT CONDONE RAPE. Also please take this and any other articles you made read with a pinch of salt – we often use exaggeration for effect and frequently offend people of many different races, classes, religions…etc.